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Avoid Church, Confront on Porn

Published: February 27, 2013
Dear TeenhealthFX,

Hi I have a big problem. I watch porn and masturbate at least once a day. My mom doesn't know and I stop her from knowing by only doing it when she's not home and on my iPod. She is always going on about how horrible porn is and the sikkos that watch it...well today she was on her computer and had a web page for parent website monitoring up....I'm worried she might find out. Also, she keeps forcing me to go to church. I believe in god but church and the bible is boring. She wants me to get involved in god but have no intention of doing so. I hate everything to do with church and when someone talks about god I almost fall asleep or smack them. How can I avoid her knowing about me watching porn and confront her on church?

Dear Avoid Church, Confront on Porn,

There are two ways you can avoid your mother knowing about your porn habits. One is to give it up and the other is to keep covering your tracks. It doesn’t sound like mom is going to get comfortable with the idea any time soon.

As far as church, maybe “confronting” is not the best way to go about it. It is going to be a tough conversation and there is no point in making it more confrontational then necessary. You are better off having an open and honest talk about your beliefs with your mother. If you are going to do this then you may want formalize exactly what those beliefs are. If you just attack the church then your mother is going to become defensive and that will shorten the conversation. It is just as important that you take the time to listen to mom and try and understand why her faith is so important to her. Most likely you will still have to go to church but you will have started a dialogue about the subject that can be continued over time. It might be a good idea to talk with your pastor as well. It is not uncommon during adolescent to start questioning ideas and beliefs. It is all part of the process of forming an identity.

The statement, “I hate everything to do with church and when someone talks about god I almost fall asleep or smack them,” has a lot of anger in it. TeenHealthFX does not get into religion but when you make a broad generalization about a group of people there usually are some underlying emotions involved.


Signed: TeenhealthFX