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My Best Friend Is Not In Any Of My Classes Next Year

Published: July 21, 2012
Dear My Best Friend Is Not In Any Of My Classes Next Year,

Hi. I just found out my schedule for my sophomore year at high school. And of course, I got oh so lucky to not have my best friend in anything. In my district, we have junior highs 7-9 grade, then the high school buildings hold grades 10-12. So I'm merging with 2 other junior high 9th grade classes that are going to into 10th grade at this high school in fall. I'm really nervous and I don't make friends very easily, or very quick. My best friend won't have much problems with making friends for she's very social and has lots of friends. I'm pretty nervous, and that fact I don't have ANY classes with the person I trust the most at this time in my life doesn't help!!! Have any advice on how to make friends? I mean my best friend isn't my only friend, but I don't have many other friends and we are definitely not as close. I just fear that I'm gonna be stuck with a bunch of strangers who are all friends with each other and won't need talk to me and I won't ever get to talk to anyone and I'll be a loner. (this happened to me in one class in 7th grade which was really scary)


Dear My Best Friend Is Not In Any Of My Classes Next Year,

TeenHealthFX can appreciate that you might be feeling both nervous and disappointed not to have your best friend in any of your classes. While this might put you in an uncomfortable position, FX would like you to look at this situation as an opportunity to deal with something that can be challenging for you. This probably won’t be the first time you will be in a situation where you don’t know many people – going to college, starting a new job, moving to a new neighborhood – these are just a few examples of the many times in life where we can all find ourselves as the new person in the group. So if you can use this situation as an opportunity to learn how to more easily adjust to dealing with new situations and new people, it could be helpful both now and in the future.

As you negotiate these new classes with new people, consider the following:

  • A person’s attitude towards something can make or break things. If you believe that you’ll be alone in your classes because people will already have their friends and won’t want to talk to you, then that is probably what is going to happen. It is amazing how our thoughts and beliefs can become these self-fulfilling prophecies. If you want to meet new people and make friends in your classes, you need to make a conscious effort to think positive thoughts about what will happen. For example, “I may not know anyone in my classes and it may take time, but I believe that people will want to talk to me and get to know me, and I know that I will have friends or acquaintances in all of my classes before too long.”  It may sound like a trivial point, but our beliefs can actually make a big difference in what will be!
  • Make a list of the things about yourself that you like and that make you a good friend and an interesting person. It sounds like it might be hard for you to imagine that anyone would want to get to know you better – so FX is concerned you may not be fully aware of how special you are and how lucky some of your classmates would be to get to know you. We’re not talking about being cocky, we’re talking about being self-confident. So make your list and remind yourself of that list if you ever doubt that people will want to get to know you.
  • Think of how you could start up conversations with some of the people in your class. You could ask people about assignments or make conversations around homework and tests – these kinds of questions could serve as ice-breakers. You could ask people if they’ve seen a certain movie or heard a new song that just came out. These kinds of questions can help you get to know other people’s interests and they can learn about yours so you can see how compatible your interests are.
  • Remember that all these new people in your class aren’t perfect. They all have their own limitations and flaws – so keep in mind they are all human and don’t let them intimidate you. In addition, remember that all these people have their own insecurities to some degree or another. Even the person who appears totally confident has some kind of insecurity – so, again, don’t feel like you are alone in how you feel.
  • Talk to your best friend about your concerns. She may have some suggestions of what you can do. In addition, if you know she is looking out for you, it might also help you to feel more confident going into these new classes.

FX realizes this is going to be hard without your “bestie” – but we have faith in what you can accomplish on your own with this. You might find you surprise yourself with how much you can do even without her right by your side. But if you find you continue to have a hard time with this, reach out for help. It’s a terrible feeling to struggle alone with something. So if you’re not seeing any progress with this, talk to your parents or a school counselor so you can get some guidance and support.

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