Okay, so here's my problem. I've fallen hard for a girl that I've known for about 3 years recently. I've liked her for since the moment I first saw her. But she has boyfriend, they've been dating roughly the same amount of time as well, (3 years). I accepted that she was with the guy a long time ago, and eventually forgot about my feelings toward her. We all eventually became good friends. But a month ago, she told me that she has had feelings for me for a year and a half and every time she see's me they get stronger. I told her that if she wanted to be with me to break up with her boyfriend. We had been talking nonstop for a solid month, and we both realized that we love each other. Then I heard the one thing every guy dreads: she loves me, but cannot leave her boyfriend. I'm crushed, we've tried being friends, but neither of us can be around each other because it hurts just too much. I honestly don't know what to do now, I've talked to friends and family but they just tell me too suck it up and move on. I need some advice please.
The problem with your friend’s and family’s advice is that it is just not that simple to forget about your feelings while you try and move on. The moving forward part is important but, as you know it really is not that simple. The real key to moving forward is acceptance and letting go. You “love” this girl and she “loves you” but you cannot be together because she does not want to leave her boyfriend. You could do nothing and hope the situation changes, but there is no telling when and if, it will ever happen. In the meantime, your life would be on hold and you could possibly miss out on other opportunities. You could spend a lot of time on the “whys” or the “if only” but these are sentiments that we have no control over and keep us stuck. Letting go simply means that you realize that you have no control over the situation and there is much in life that still awaits you. It will hurt for awhile but eventually the pain will subside. Right now you are in a state of limbo and that is a tough place to be.
Consider this quote by C. JoyBell C:
“We can't be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.”