One of the difficult parts of depression is that it can attack a person’s self-esteem with such a vengeance that it leaves him/her feeling totally helpless and worthless. This is the depression causing these feelings and not a reflection of who you really are. If you have been feeling this way and are seeing a counselor and on medication then you really need to speak with both professionals about how you have been feeling. Medication for depression can be very effective if you are on the right one for you. Everyone’s metabolism and genetic structure is different in some way. On average approximately 60 to 70 percent of people respond to the first antidepressant that is prescribed.
You need to let your parents know straightaway how bad you have been suffering. Next have your parents call your medical doctor and make an appointment right away (bring this letter if it helps.). Your doctor needs to know the extent of your depression/anxiety and your level of mood fluctuations. It is critical that you let him/her know that you have been having frequent suicidal thoughts. You and your doctor and your parents can decide how to proceed from there. You should also let your counselor know that you are in crisis and follow any recommendations he/she has.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Atlantic Health at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week