Anger / Question
Published: December 2, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I have always had a bit of my temper, so has my dad. My dad and I clash a lot, and we fight a lot, too. My mom and I got really close over the past year, but lately my temper has been at times out of control. I get angry over the littlest things, and just cry in anger because I don't know what to do. When I try to do my homework or other things, I can't concentrate. When I go to bed, I don't fall asleep until midnight at the earliest because my mind is racing with thoughts. I've tried many relaxation techniques but to no avail. I don't know how to approach the counselor at my school, either. I've tried to talk to my mom but she told me it was all in my head and I just need to fix my attitude. I'm usually a very fun-loving person but sometimes I just flip. Please help!! Any ideas on a condition I might have?
Signed: Sometimes I Just Flip
Dear Sometimes I Just Flip,
While TeenHealthFX cannot make any kind of accurate diagnosis over the web as to the exact cause(s) of your temper, we do feel it’s safe to say that you are in need of more than just a simple “attitude” adjustment. If you see your temper as out of control, you notice that you get angry over small things, and you find yourself crying at times because you feel so angry and overwhelmed, it is clear to FX that this is a problem you need help with – not just something in your head you can simply will away. Since you and your father both have tempers, it is possible that there is something genetic and chemical going on here for both of you – such as mood disorder, like bipolar disorder. It is also possible that in watching your father over the years, it has become somewhat ingrained in you to react in anger and irritation to things. There may also be life stressors and life experiences that both you and your father have had to live with that have caused anger to build up in each of you (for example, you may have built up anger over the years that you have had to live with a father who cannot control his temper).
Again, FX cannot know the exact cause(s), but we do feel it is important for you to meet with a mental health professional who can assess the situation, determine what is contributing to your anger, and work with your on developing an effective treatment plan based on his/her diagnosis of the situation. Given your father’s history of having a temper and the fact that the two of you have fought a lot over the years, FX recommends that you go with both of your parents for your first session – then speak with the therapist about whether it makes sense for you to continue in individual sessions, family sessions, or some combination of the two. If your therapist thinks that your anger may be due to a mood disorder, he/she may also recommend that you meet with a psychiatrist to be assessed for psychotropic medication.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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