Parents & Family / Question
Published: June 29, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi. My dad is addicted to prescibrition drugs. He has two younger children ages 2 and 5 although im only 14 I've been taking care of them thier whole life. Buying them food, clothes, getting a babysitter or babysitting them my self. I am wondering if i can adopt them or legally become a primary care giver? if you have any other advice for me Id be greatfull to get it.
Signed: Dad Is Addicted To Prescription Drugs - Can I Adopt His Younger Children?
Dear Dad Is Addicted To Prescription Drugs - Can I Adopt His Younger Children?,
As far as the legal end of your question, at fourteen you would not be able to get legal custody of your siblings. To get legal custody you would need to be at least 18 years of age. You would also need to show that you could provide for your siblings. This would mean being able to provide emotional support, stability, and financial support in terms of paying for housing, food, clothing and other necessities.
At fourteen this would be impossible – your job right now is your education, so you do not have the financial means to run a household and raise children. Even if you did have the financial resources to care for your siblings, FX would be concerned about your being a guardian to them because you are still young and need your own parent-figure right now. Your siblings absolutely need a parent or parent-figure who can care for them in a loving and responsible way – but so do you. For your own emotional, social, and academic growth you should be focusing on school, friends, extra-curricular activities appropriate for your age and being a big brother or big sister (you didn’t state your gender) to your siblings, not their primary caregiver.
Since it does sound like your father’s addiction is getting in the way of him being able to adequately parent you and your siblings, FX does think that it is important for you to speak to a trusted adult as soon as possible. You can speak with an extended family member, a teacher or counselor at school, your primary care physician, a neighbor, a child protective services worker, or anyone else who can intervene on your behalf to ensure that all three of you are getting the care you need and deserve. It is also important that you set up some resources for yourself so that you have a good support system in place for the guidance you need right now. You could meet with a private therapist or get involved with an organization like Al-Anon that helps children of substance users.
In getting support for yourself and help for you and your siblings, consider the following resources:
· If you live in New Jersey you can call DYFS at 1-800-NJ-ABUSE. You can also contact The Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-792-8610. This hotline is to report physical or sexual abuse for people living in or outside of New Jersey, and is available 24 hours a day, 7days a week.
· Al-Anon/Alateen Hotline, 1-800-344-2666, 8am-6pm EST. Help for young people who are the relatives and friends of problem drinkers. www.al-anon.alateen.org
· If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
· Concerned About Your Parent’s Drug Problem
· Coping With Substance Abuse In Your Family
Signed: TeenHealthFX
The teen pregnancy rate in the United States is the highest of any industrialized democracy, nearly twice that of Great Britain and 10 times that of Japan. 
