Recently I got arrested I am 19 years old this was last Tuesday I am a drug addict a big drug addict lost everything almost but ok last Tuesday I got arrested because I was smoking crack and slamming heroin sitting in a parking lot... well the cop asked me what I am doing I told him and he seen brillo pad laying on the ground. he searched me found drugs paraphernalia but he searched my car and there was a gun behind my seat idk about at all so I don’t know what to do at all I am a mess I wanna die I know I can’t handle state prison I did time in Middlesex county was nothing but state. I am not a bad person I work hard go to school just have a big drug problem I have a really big heart cant rob or kill no one and I am about to lose 5 years of my life in Trenton with killers
For some of our readers who may not be familiar with the terms you have used, “slamming heroin,” refers to injecting the drug. A “brillo pad” (without soap) serves as a filter when smoking crack in a glass tube.
TeenHealthFX doesn’t doubt that you are not a bad person but drug addiction can bring a person to a place where they find themselves doing things that they never thought were once unimaginable. If you were out of drugs and feeling the withdrawal effects that could put you in a position where you were desperate to get more drugs. Having access to a weapon could lead to you robbing someone at gun point. At the time you would not be thinking about the consequences of your actions. Your focus would be on feeding your habit to avoid the severe withdrawal symptoms associated with heroin and crack addiction. Nonetheless you would have committed a serious crime and would have to face the consequences.
As you know the gun charge is serious and you need to seek representation from a lawyer to deal with this issue. At 19 your parents are under no obligation to provide one for you. You can ask for their help but if you have been dealing with addiction for some time there is a chance you may have burned this bridge already. Do not blame them; this would be another consequence of your addiction. You will either have to hire a one on your own or apply for a public defender. Once you get a lawyer it would be a good idea to follow his/her advice closely.
In the meantime if you want to help yourself and your case, get into a rehab as soon as possible. You have to be really committed to getting clean and show progress in your treatment. If you do it “just because” it will look good for the judge then there is a strong possibility that you will fail in your attempts to get clean. The first step on the road to recovery is admitting that you have a problem and are powerless over your addiction. If you don’t believe this is true, just look where heroin and crack have taken you. You don’t just use the drugs, they have taken over your life and you have not been able to stop. No matter what happens with your current legal situation, if you don’t stop using drugs things will continue to get worse.
Your life doesn’t have to be this way, there is help out there, but you have to want it. If you are looking for a treatment program you could check with your attorney or log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.