I have cut for many years but recently stopped because of a boyfriend, but we have now split up. A few years ago I started hearing voices in my head, telling me to kill and harm people that I care about. I hate it; I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t no what to do. Those voices turned into images and things got worse. I have a set of rules in which I live to, if I don’t stick to them then 'him' the voices come and get me. I get bad stomach pains and visions of me killing people, and myself. I don’t know what to do, I can’t talk to my parents and my friends will think I'm insane. What’s wrong with me? And what do I do?
Hearing voices that are not really there (also referred to as auditory hallucinations) can result from various mental illnesses, substance use, or even certain medical conditions. Without knowing more about you and your mental health and medical history, TeenHealthFX is unable to give you a specific reason as to why you are hearing these voices that command you to hurt yourself and others. However, as these voices are telling you to kill and harm at times, FX does feel very strongly that you need to speak with an adult as soon as possible about this. It is very important that you meet with your primary care physician as well as a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker, so you can be given an accurate diagnosis of the situation, and so that an effective treatment plan can be formulated to address the voices that you hear, the terrible images that you see, the “rules” that you live by (which sounds like an attempt on your part to keep all of these things in control), and the stomach pains you are experiencing.
It is important that your parents know about what is going on with you so that they can get you the help that you need, as well as be educated in how they can be most helpful to you during this difficult time. FX understands that a conversation like this can be difficult for a teen to have with parents, but it is very important that you do so – perhaps you could even show them this letter to get things started. If you really feel unable to talk to your parents about this on your own, then FX recommends you find someone at school to talk to – a school social worker, your guidance counselor, the school nurse, a teacher, or any other trusted adult. Be aware that because these voices tell you to hurt or kill yourself or others, whatever adult you confide in will be obligated to tell your parents about the situation. However, it might feel easier for you if another adult spoke to them first or was there with you when you told them. Whomever you decide to talk to in terms of what feels most comfortable for you, be sure to speak with them soon.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week