TeenHealthFX is sorry that you are feeling in such emotional distress right now. The kinds of feelings you are dealing with can be extremely hard to cope with (especially all on your own), so FX can appreciate that you may be feeling hopeless about what to do.
It sounds like you might be dealing with a mood disorder, such as depression, given that you are feeling isolated from others, irritated, “emotional” almost daily, have lost interest in things, and have been having thoughts of ending your life. There may also be some anxiety (which can often accompany depression) given this “crushing sensation” you describe where you have trouble breathing.
While you may feel unsure about how to handle these thoughts and feelings, FX wants you to know that things can get better for you and that there is help and treatment out there that can successfully address the symptoms you are describing. While there may be a part of you that wants to isolate, or that feels isolated from those around you, FX thinks that it is very important for you to seek out help from a mental health professional. A trained therapist can give you an accurate diagnosis and can discuss with you the most effective treatment options based on that diagnosis. A therapist can also provide you with the support and guidance you need as you work through this so you are not feeling so alone. If you need help setting up a consultation, ask your parents for their help or a friend. If you are in high school, you can also ask your school counselor for some assistance in setting up a consultation with a private therapist. If you are in college you could check to see if your school has an on-campus counseling center where you could set up an appointment.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.