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11 Year Old Having Sex With Boyfriend

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am 11 years old, and started having sex with my boyfriend a while ago. We have had a threesomes, and one with one of the older boys at school. Can this hurt me, having more than one penis in me at a time? I am worried that it could hurt me. I also like to stick things in me, can that hurt me at all? Please tell me if they can.
Signed: 11 Year Old Having Sex With Boyfriend

Dear 11 Year Old Having Sex With Boyfriend,


Teenhealth is not only worried that you could be harmed physically, but emotionally as well. There is no state that recognizes that 11 year-old can legally make the decision to enter into a consensual sexual relationship. The rational is that at this age a person has not matured enough physically and emotionally to make such an important decision. The law was also enacted to protect minors from being taken advantage of by older men and women, who would use a minors for there own sexual gratification without concern for the other individual.

TeenHealthFX feels strongly that this is not a healthy relationship for you and that there could be several physical complications as well as significant emotional ones. You do not mention the age of your boyfriend only that he was willing to share you with an older boy at school. It appears that he does not understand or ignores the impact that his behavior will have on you. By doing so would indicate that he is only interested in having his sexual needs gratified and will exploit the situation to get his way.

TeenHealthFX strongly encourages you to break off this relationship for your own protection. It would be a good idea to make an appointment with your doctor and let him/her know about your sexual history. Your doctor's primary focus will be on making sure that you are okay physically and emotionally. Since you are sexually active he/she will take a history and do a full examination to make sure everything is fine. Your doctor may also talk to about your sexuality and provide education on sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) and methods of birth control. You can discuss all this information with your doctor without your parents being present. However, you may want to enlist your mother's and/or father's support since at some point this may become overwhelming for you and it would be good to have them available. Your parents may be angry at first but once they realize that you need their help and protection their anger will give way to an understanding that what you really need is for them to rally round you. If for some reason your parents are not available seek out an adult you trust such as a family member, teacher, school counselor or school nurse and get them to help.

There is Planned Parenthood and many teen clinics that will see you without parental consent and for little or no cost.

TeenHealthFX dumped a lot on your doorstep and it would be a good idea to engage in some counseling to sort through the many emotions you may eventually experience. Our sexuality can play a big role in our lives. It is important that this experience be sorted out and that it does not hinder your future happiness. 

If you live in northern New Jersey and would like to meet with a doctor from the Adolescent/Young Adult Center For Health, you can call 973-971-6457 for an appointment. In the same area you can get help finding a therapist at by calling the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400.

Signed: TeenHealthFX