Being bisexual would mean that you were sexually attracted to both men and women. From what you have written it sounds like you are only sexually attracted to, and aroused by, women, which would make you straight.
Keep in mind that someone’s sexual orientation can be a complicated thing and it can be hard to break it down from information given in one paragraph. So FX cannot know for sure whether you are straight, gay, or bisexual – only you can know that. When you think of dating someone, including being physically intimate with that person – do you picture a man, a woman, or both men and women – only you can know how you feel. What FX would like to say is that whatever you are – straight, gay, or bisexual – it is okay for you to be who you are and have the feelings you do. You will be just as valuable and wonderful as a human being whether you are straight, gay, or bisexual.
FX does want you to think about the following:
· Given that you grew up without your father, your desire for an emotional bond with a man may very easily be about the mourning you are feeling in not having had your father in your life and the longing you feel to have that special father-son relationship. If you are craving a loving, close relationship with a man because of a sense of loss and emptiness about not having had your father in your life, then that doesn’t mean you are gay – it means you missed out on a father-son relationship that has caused you pain and a longing to replace it.
· When you said that you think girls often think you are gay FX wonders if this is because girls in your life have said something or done something to give you that impression or whether your concern is based more on your own worries about it. Sometimes when we are worried about something or think something to be a certain way, we automatically assume others think the same. For example, if we are convinced we are not smart, we assume others see us as unintelligent. When we see ourselves as unattractive, we assume others see us the same way. And if we worry we might be gay, we assume others pick up the same thing. Sometimes it is the case, and sometimes it is not. Maybe girls have wondered that about you, but it is also possible that it has never occurred to the girls you have met and it is more an issue in your head than in theirs.
FX encourages you to speak to a trusted adult, such as a parent, extended family member, school counselor, or parent of a friend about how you are feeling. Given that you are feeling depressed about all of this, it is important that you not struggle through these thoughts and feelings alone, but that you have people there for you with guidance and support. If these feelings are too private for you to share with friends or family, or you think the extent of how depressed you feel may require professional help, then consider meeting with a mental health professional. A clinical social worker or psychologist could help you to process your feelings about not having grown up with your father, as well as help you to become clearer about your sexual orientation if you continue to be unsure about it. It sounds like there is sadness and confusion for you about both of these issues – and a therapist could certainly help you sort through each of them.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
Teens often abuse prescription drugs because of the myth that these drugs provide a medically safe high.
It is estimated that major depressive disorder (MDD) affects about 5% of adolescents, and that between 10 - 15% of adolescents have some symptoms of depression at any one time.
Statistics show that giving a teen a credit card does not teach them to be financially responsible or to encourage self-restraint, but actually promotes a “spend now and deal with the consequences later” mindset.
Girls are more likely to intentionally abuse prescription drugs than boys.
The reality of excessive interest rates and fees that often accompany credit card use for teens, can put youngsters in a position where they are losing out on admission to graduate school, getting a job, or renting an apartment because of damaged credit history.
Less than 33% of teens with depression get help, yet 80% of teens with depression can be successfully treated if they seek help from a doctor or therapist.
Traffic crashes are the greatest single cause of death for all persons age 6-33, and about 45% of these fatalities are alcohol-related crashes.
About 6.2 million Americans get a new genital HPV infection each year.
30% of teens with depression also have a substance abuse problem.
Freshmen bring an average of $1,585.00 in credit card debt to college.
About a third of women who seek services related to unprotected sex, such as pregnancy testing or emergency contraception, do not receive STD counseling, testing, or treatment.
7-10% of college students will drop out of school because of credit problems.
Teens with untreated depression are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors, leading to higher rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Most smokers begin smoking as teens, and the average age of initiation is 12.5 years of age.
People with manic symptoms and Bipolar Disorder II are at a significant risk of later developing an alcohol abuse or dependence problem.
Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for U.S. teens, accounting for 36% of all deaths in this age group.
The teen pregnancy rate in the United States is the highest of any industrialized democracy, nearly twice that of Great Britain and 10 times that of Japan. 4
Compared with other age groups, teens have the lowest rate of seat belt use, and male high school students are more likely than female students to rarely or never wear seat belts.
A national study of women ages 15-44 found that women were almost twice as likely to receive contraceptive services rather than STD services.
The teenage pregnancy rate in the U.S. is at its lowest level in thirty years, down 36% since its peak in 1990. Research suggests that both increased abstinence and positive changes in contraceptive practice are responsible these recent declines in teen pregnancy.
A sexually active teenager who does not use contraceptives has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within one year. 8
In the United States, at least 5-10 million girls and women and 1 million boys and men are struggling with eating disorders. 11
Among male drivers between 15 and 20 years of age who were involved in fatal crashes in 2005, 38% were speeding at the time of the crash and 24% had been drinking.
Homicide is the second leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds overall. 16
Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted. 22
One in four teenage girls in the U.S. had at least one common sexually transmitted disease.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among youths ages 15 to 20. 19
The highest Chlamydia rates occurred among women ages 15 to 19 and 20 to 24.
About 44% of rape victims are under age 18. Three out of every twenty victims (15%) are under age 12. 25
Each year, half of all HIV infections are among people under the age of 25.
Crash risk is particularly high during the first year that teenagers are eligible to drive.
One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. A total of 17.7 million women have been victims of these crimes. 23
Teen girls ages 15-19 have the highest Gonorrhea rate of any age group.
The motor vehicle death rate for male drivers and passengers ages 16-19 is more than one and half times that of their female counterparts.
More than four in 10 young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20 - nearly one million teen pregnancies a year 3
The presence of teen passengers increases the crash risk of unsupervised teen drivers; the risk increases with the number of teen passengers.
Smoking is the leading preventable cause of death in this country. More than 400,000 Americans die from tobacco-related causes each year, and most of them began using tobacco before the age of 18.
The risk of motor vehicle crashes is higher among 16- to 19-year-olds than among any other age group.
Underage drinking costs the U.S. more than $58 billion every year; enough to buy every public school student a state-of-the-art computer.
At all levels of blood alcohol concentration (BAC), the risk of involvement in a motor vehicle crash is greater for teens than for older drivers.
Teens who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crimes and sexual assault, have serious problems in school, be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes, and develop problems with alcohol later in life.
Nearly all the poison deaths in the U.S. are attributed to drugs, and most drug poisonings result from the abuse of prescription and illegal drugs.
Alcohol kills 6.5 times more youth than all other illicit drugs combined.
Persons aged 15-24, who represent only 14% of the U.S. population, account for 30% ($19 billion) of the total costs of motor vehicle injuries among males and 28% ($7 billion) among females.
Among young people ages 12-17, prescription drugs have become the second most abused illegal drug, behind marijuana.