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Is Oral Sex With Him Harmful?

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
hi i am 13. i had oral sex with a 6 year old child. he is not infected , he is completely healthy. is oral sex with him harmful?
Signed: Is Oral Sex With Him Harmful?

Dear Is Oral Sex With Him Harmful?,


Oral sex could be physically harmful to him if you have an STD, such as herpes, which can be transmitted through oral-genital contact. However, what concerns FX even more is the impact this will have on his emotional well-being. A 6yo is not old enough to give consent to any kind of sexual activity (and actually neither is a 13yo) – and this kind of behavior could easily have a negative impact on his mental health. FX gets lots of letters from teens and young adults who remember some kind of inappropriate sexual activity from when they were younger with a sibling, baby-sitter, or neighbor who was in their pre-teen or teen years. And many write in that these experiences were psychologically harmful to them – understandably so from what we know about childhood development and the experience of inappropriate sexual behaviors at early ages. That said, FX thinks it is critical for the sake of this 6yo boy that you refrain from any kind of sexual behavior with him from this point on.  

FX is also very concerned about you – what is motivating you to want to be sexual with a young child. FX thinks that it is very important for you talk to a trusted adult about your impulses so that someone can address whatever is going on with you that you have these urges to be sexual with a child. You can speak to your parents and/or a school counselor. Depending on the situation it might be helpful for you to meet with a mental health professional to discuss this issue. FX wants to ensure the safety and well-being of this 6yo child, but we also want to ensure your safety and emotional well-being as well.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX