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Tips To Get Parents To Listen -From A 13 YO Girl

Published: 23 July 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I've been having problems with my mom and my dad. I want to talk to them but no time seems to be the "right" time. Or they just don't want to get into it. I've been upset about a lot of stuff, and when I need someone to talk to, none of my parents want to listen, they want to lecture. And anytime I tell them I was upset by something they did, they tell me A) don't give me the drama, B) Oh, you don't do anything wrong, C) I'm sorry, but - and something sarcastic, or something I've done that they just happened to come up with I'm sick of it! And I'm tired of getting yelled at because I was upset by something they did (or one of them did). The hardest part is that my mom is a shrink and my dad thinks he knows everything, and they have their problems with each other and their families. Its getting tough, and it would be helpful if you could give me any tips on how to approach them, and tell them what's wrong, and explain to them that I need them to listen to the whole entire thing I have to say before they jump in or make comments or misunderstand something because they don't let me finish. I've tried writing it to them...everything. If you can help, I'd really appreciate it! I know you can't solve my problems, but some tips would be helpful. Thanks!!! From, A thirteen year old girl
Signed: Tips To Get Parents To Listen -From A 13 YO Girl

Dear Tips To Get Parents To Listen -From A 13 YO Girl,

 

It is natural to have some relationship problems with your parents. We all do, but it is important to always talk them out and try to resolve them. Remember that during your teen years parent-child relationships become strained. It is just a natural happening. You are becoming more independent and they might not want to let go. It is frustrating and maddening sometimes. With a little patience and understanding you will get your parents to listen and see your point of view. Here are a few tips to try:

  • Plan out a scheduled time to talk.
  • Show them this question and answer. It should show them that you really need them to listen.
  • Realize that they have their own problems and plenty of stress in dealing with them.
  • Be levelheaded. Tell them you would like to present your side first and then all of you can discuss it.
  • Keep your cool. Be calm and present your side logically.
  • Do not lose your temper and try not to be defensive.
  • Do not use past situations to attack your parents. You want to work out your differences not start a fight.
  • Tell your parents that you want to confide in them because you trust them. They will be flattered to know that you are going to them before a friend.
  • Check out 17 But Treated Like 5 for more tips!

Remember that your parents are human - just like you! They will make mistakes and have various emotions. You do have a right to be upset at them but they are your parents and are hopefully there for you in good and bad. Remember to be patient and soon you will be working through your problems together.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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