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I'm 16 and She is 13

Published: June 29, 2012
Dear I'm 16 and She is 13,

Hi I'm a 16 year old guy that wants to go out with a 13 year old girl. She is 2 years and 5 months (2 grades apart) my junior, is that weird? she is almost 14, but my friends tell me its weird. We don't go to the same school, but we know each other elsewhere (sailing). I've done favors for her (brought her a coke for lunch) and she has hinted but i just don't know. I know it would work out, but still, would it be creepy? I really don't want it to end up like Nabokov's Lolita. signed is 16 yo wrong to go out with 13 yo


Dear I'm 16 and She is 13,

While 2 years 5 months is not a lot of time in the scheme of life, it can be a tremendous amount of time in world of adolescence. The social, emotional and even cognitive development of a 13 year old is going to be very different from that of a 16 year old. Our advice is that you stick to a friendship with this girl – perhaps even keep your distance from her if you think it would be tough for you to accept her as a friend only. And put your energy into finding someone where there is less of an age gap. If your friends agree that it is not healthy for you to be with this girl because of her age, perhaps you could put them to the challenge of finding someone for you who is closer to 16!

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