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Boner Fades Away After Putting Condom On

Published: December 10, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now and I am a virgin. My girlfriend, however, had sex with her boyfriend before me. We have decided that the time is right for us to have sex. We have both performed oral sex on one another and been able to finish each other off (couldn't think of better wording). My question is that when we go to have sex I have trouble maintaining a boner. I slide on the condom and it just slowly fades away. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Signed: Boner Fades Away After Putting Condom On

Dear Boner Fades Away After Putting Condom On,

 

There are many reasons why you might be having trouble keeping your erection, but the most likely reason is that you are feeling a little nervous about your first time having sex. If you can achieve an erection while masturbating, or wake up with one in the morning, it's likely you don't have a physical problem. You might try reading the answer to "Lose My Erection With My New Sex Partner" for more information.

 

We suggest you do not rush into having sex. If you take your time getting comfortable with your girlfriend, eventually, it will happen naturally. It seems like you two have found other ways to satisfy each other in the meanwhile. And the next time you do try, take it slowly.

 

We are very glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and your girlfriend by practicing safer sex. Whatever you do, it is important that you keep using condoms to prevent against both pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms are usually a fact of life when it comes to teenage sex, something you need to learn to work with rather than discarding them if they seem to get in the way. Plenty of guys have this problem at first, but eventually, with a little time and practice, condoms become second nature.

 

Keep in mind that some sexually transmitted diseases can be passed along during oral sex, from the mouth to the genitals or genitals to mouth. If you want to protect against these, you can use a condom when she performs oral sex on you and a dental dam (a square of latex or polyurethane that acts as a barrier between the her vagina and your mouth) when you go perform oral sex on her.

If you continue to have trouble achieving erection and are concerned that something is wrong, you may want to speak with a doctor. If you do not have a doctor and you live in Northern New Jersey, please call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at (973) 971.6475. If you live elsewhere, get in touch with your local adolescent health center or clinic, or Planned Parenthood.

And just for the record, another term for finishing someone off would be "orgasm."

 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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