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Does Sex Hurt

Published: June 11, 2001
Dear TeenHealthFX,
When you are having sex and a guy puts his penis in your vagina does it hurt? And, how does it happen? Does it just come naturally or do you have to know how to do it? HELP! Thank you!
Signed: Does Sex Hurt

Dear Does Sex Hurt,

 

Sex should be a pleasurable experience but sometimes it can be painful. Most of the time when you experience pain during love making there is a physical or emotional reason.

 

When a woman is experiencing sexual feelings the vagina usually responds by getting "wet" with vaginal fluid that serves as lubrication so the penis can enter the vagina more easily. Sometimes if your partner tries to enter you before you are "wet" then you may experience discomfort. You need to practice safer sex with your partner. Along with safer sex, you may want to use additional lubrication such as saliva or lubricating jelly to compensate for a latex condom. (Never use Vaseline or oil based lubricant with a condom or diaphragm because it will deteriorate the rubber).

 

Other Causes Of Pain With Sex Are:

 

Vaginismus - Some women experience involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles that makes penetration by a finger, tampon or penis very painful. Vaginismus can be your body's way of telling you that you are not ready to handle the situation you are in or a response to a bad experience such as rape. This can be successfully treated.

 

Sexually Transmitted Diseases Or Infections / Allergic Reaction - Some vaginal infections (yeast, trichomoniasis) can be present without the woman being aware of it. The friction of the penis moving in and out can cause the infection to flare up and cause itching and pain. The vagina may also become irritated due to an allergic reaction to topical birth control substances such as foam, jelly, or cream. And, a person can also have allergic reactions to the rubber in condom or diaphragms as well as personal hygiene products.

 

An Un-stretched Hymen - If you are experiencing intercourse for the first time an un-stretched hymen (if it is still present) can cause pain. Guys reading this should know that just because a women does not bleed or experience pain during her first time has no bearing on whether she is a virgin or not. The hymen could have been stretched previously from a gynecological exam, a tampon, or from riding a horse.

 

Anxiety - During your first several times having sex, you may be tense or worried about pregnancy, which can cause the vagina to tighten. If you try to get the penis in before you are fully aroused then you are bound to feel some uneasiness. When you are ready it will come naturally to you and in all likelihood you will have a better experience.

While you don't have to be an expert on sex you should have some understanding of sexual behavior before you enter into an intimate relationship. If you don't have some understanding then you will be relying on your partner too much to know what is customary. Also you need to educate yourself on birth control and how to properly protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. TeenHealthFX deals with all these issues on the website and you can look them up.

 

If you have been experiencing discomfort or pain during sex you should consult with your doctor or find a teen health clinic in your area. A teen health clinic can see teens for sexual health information and treatment without your parent's permission and on a low cost/no cost basis. Sex should be pleasurable and there is no reason you should have to put up with pain. If you live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center For Health at 973.889.6350 for an appointment. If you live outside of Northern New Jersey, You can check the Planned Parenthood website for a location near you.

 

 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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