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Sexually Confused, But Think I'm Gay

Published: 5 de marzo de 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
im sexually confused at least i think i am. i was sure i was straight about 3-4 months ago. but ever since yahoo answers came into my life i read a few questions i regret. i think i am gay. i have gotten aroused only from thoughts of having sex with a man, not by gay pornography. i think im still attracted to girls, im not sure about being attracted to men.. i really have no idea... im more likely to look at a women. im 14 and i have liked women since i was in grade 1 but one time in kindergarten i suspect imay have had a crush on a guy in my class, im not sure if it was a crush though. also when i was a kid this other kid on my street who was the same age as me always asked me if he could see my penis, i would always say no and then he would ask me to like his, i would always say no but one time i think i gave in. could this be hinting that i am gay?
Signed: Sexually Confused, But Think I'm Gay

Dear Sexually Confused, But Think I'm Gay,

 

It sounds to TeenHealthFX like at this point in your life you can be aroused both by women and by men. However, this could mean that you might consider yourself to be gay, straight, or bisexual in the future. Adolescence can be a time of a certain amount of sexual curiosity and exploring. It is also a time where people try to figure out who they are in so many areas, including their sexual orientation. That said, FX wants you to know that it is okay not to know right now and to feel confident that with time you will become more clear about where you attraction lies – men, women, or both.

 

If you find that your confusion around this issue is causing you a good deal of distress, consider speaking with a school counselor, private therapist, or someone you may know of who is gay or bisexual. That way you can get some support and guidance in working out the thoughts and feelings you are currently experiencing.

 

FX would also like to say that it can be difficult for a teen (or adult) to come to terms with being gay or bisexual. People are often ingrained from a young age with what are considered to be societal “norms” – and may find they feel abnormal or like an outcast if they are gay or bisexual. It is important to know that there is nothing wrong or abnormal about this – and if you find you are having negative feelings about being gay or bisexual, having difficulty coping with this realization, or are having confusion about how to deal with this issue with friends and family, then it is very important to have a support system in place of adults and peers who can be there for you in a caring and understanding way.

 

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

 

You can also contact the following hotlines, if needed:

  • Gay and Lesbian National Hotline, 1-888-THE-GLNH (366-8288), 24hours, 7 days a week.
  • Gays and Lesbian Teens, 1-800-850-8078, 24 hours, 7days a week. A crisis hotline for gay, lesbian and questioning youth, ages 25 and younger.
Signed: TeenHealthFX

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