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My Life Is Screwed Up

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi, I have a problem. Okay, my teacher is 30 years old, I used to think he was good looking like everyone else but then I noticed he was flirting with me. I don't know what to do. I kind of liked him too. I needed help with math because we were having a math test so I asked my teacher to help me with it. He asked me to come to his house and he would help me study. So any way I did and he came onto me. I like him a lot now and I know it is wrong. By the way did I mention that I am only 14 and he is my teacher? He has a wife and two kids but he can't tell his wife he is going to leave her because she would ask why and we can't tell anyone because he would be fired. I don't want him to lose his job but I love him and want to be with him more. I would quit school if I have too. There are just two more problems. The next one is that my mom and his wife's father are gonna get married soon. Me and his wife are really close but I can't tell her I am in love with her husband. I don't know what to do. I know this is crazy and probably sounds confusing but there is just one more thing, I might be pregnant and it's gotta be his child. I have never had sex with anyone else. I haven't told him yet because I just found out. Please help me!
Signed: My Life Is Screwed Up

Dear My Life Is Screwed Up,

 

Your problem is complicated because it affects many lives besides your own. The first thing you must realize is that what your teacher doing is very wrong and against the law. His actions not only have a detrimental affect on you but his wife, children and extended family as well. What you believe to be love is actually exploitation by an adult who was put in a position of caring and protecting children. It is important to realize that you did nothing wrong and are a victim of this man's exploits and so are his family.

 

You need to stop this relationship immediately and tell your parents or a trusted adult what has been going on. Yes, this teacher will get in a significant amount of trouble and may go to jail but that is because of his actions not because you told. Your instincts tell you that this relationship is wrong and you have to trust them.

The next thing you need to do is to see a doctor or go to a clinic to determine whether you are pregnant. If the test is positive you will need to discuss with a health professional the options that are available to you. Just so you know a local teen clinic or Planned Parenthood can see you without your parent permission for little or know cost.

 

TeenHealthFX realizes that what you are being asked to do takes a lot of courage and could be a source of fear and anxiety. It would be overwhelming for anyone to have to deal with this situation, let alone a 14 year old. This is why it would be a good idea to seek out counseling as a source of support and to help sort out the various feelings you are bound to have.

 

If you live in northern New Jersey and would like to be seen by a doctor from the Adolescent/Young Adult Center For Health, you can call 973.889.6350 for an appointment. If you need help finding a therapist in the same region, you could call the Access Center at 888.247.1400 for assistance.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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