I'm 16 and pregnant due in october. The father is not with me physically but we are in a relationship (long distance). I have a lot of mood swings. I will be up in my room and be fine, go downstairs and suddenly feel angry at everyone. My pesky siblings make me snap, and very often I end up thinking of violence. very rarely do i slap them, but I do have a lot of arguments with me. It seems im angry with everyone and anyone, even in the shops if some kid goes up to his mom nagging her for something, don't get it and they go into a tantrum, i get really pissed off with their sudden outbursts. I think i'm overreacting a lot, but I have a lot of anger with everyone, and thoughs of cutting are not rare. I will snap very easily at anyone, have sudden crying outbursts, and my mood will change within the hour. I feel very stressed, but i have no idea what to do. I feel constantly dissapointed, as plans change and appointments get canceled. I try not to get my hopes up but its still so frustrating. I want to go to a mental health advisor, but i have been to MANY (as i have been sexually abused in the past), and i have always hated them. Their advice on "try to channel yourself", just makes me pissed off because it DOES NOT WORK. I have TRIED, and it's bullSht. I have been to over 20 of these proffesionals, and never had a positive experience, which is why im doubtful about going now. Please help! Signed: emotional, depressed and cutting.
TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your emotions right now. It sounds like there are some strong feelings you are dealing with, particularly anger and disappointment. FX thinks that it would be very helpful for you to have a better understanding of what has been contributing to your anger and disappointment, as well as to find some healthy outlets for these emotions so they don’t get bottled up and then leave you feeling like you want to explode or self-cut.
One thing FX wonders is how you are feeling about being pregnant at 16. Was this a planned pregnancy? If not, you may have many feelings of anger, sadness, and disappointment about the ways in which your life is already changing when it was perhaps not what you had envisioned for yourself. Even if this pregnancy was planned, it is still possible that there are feelings and situations coming up for you that you hadn’t anticipated about how your life is changing and will continue to change.
FX also wonders how you are feeling about the baby’s father being away from you right now. Is part of your anger and disappointment that he is not near you to be helpful, supportive, or be part of your pregnancy experience? It can be tough to go through things alone – especially something as significant as a pregnancy – so FX is wondering if you are feeling somewhat alone right now.
Some of the examples you gave about when you can lose your temper are around children being “pesky” or having a “tantrum.” FX is also wondering how you are feeling about becoming a parent – setting limits, dealing with misbehavior, dealing with emotional meltdowns. There are many joys of parenting and wonderful moments, but part of parenting is being the rock for your kids when they can’t hold it together – the tantrums when things don’t go their way. How are you feeling about being that rock? Did you feel you had someone there for you as a rock when you were growing up? You mentioned that you were sexually abused – and many people who were sexually abused as children also felt emotionally deprived growing up. So FX wonders if you got the support and nurturing you needed as a child. If not, there might be resentment for you in having to give something to your children that you never got as a child.
There may certainly be issues around being a young mother and having your significant other away from you now, but your history of sexual abuse could definitely be affecting how you have been feeling. People who have been sexually abused as children often deal with more depression, anxiety, substance abuse issues, eating disorders, and even issues like PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) as adults than people who have not been abused. Anger and self-harming behaviors, such as self-cutting, are also not unusual for survivors of sexual abuse. There are a lot of things that can trigger memories of abuse – things like smells, furniture, cars, colors, or anything associated with the abuse. And things like childbirth, Pap smears, gynecological exams, and even current consensual sexual contact with a partner can definitely trigger memories of abuse. Being sexually abused, your body felt intruded upon – and it would be understandable for your body to feel intruded upon with various aspects of pregnancy, childbirth, and even prenatal exams given your history.
As for where to go from here, FX suggests the following:
Consider the following referral sources and resources as well: