Don't Want to Take Advantage of a Friend in Need

Published: July 16, 2012
Dear Don't Want to Take Advantage of a Friend in Need,

hi, i am thinking of asking a girl out, but she found out a close family member has cancer. I think it would be wise not to ask, but give her support through this time, but when would be a good time to ask her out. the other problem is that I will only see her on a regular basis for only another week or two at best. We don't go to the same school. she doesn't have a cell, while i don't have a facebook. she is a grade or two younger than me, and it might be weird to have the parent listen in on a private phone conversation on the old landline. how do we keep in touch?do you think it would be too forward to give her my cell # or cut her a bouquet, or do anything at all, I can relate to her pain, but what should I do to help? surely taking a relationship to the next level would take advantage, right? signed, how to help a friend in need w/out taking advantage


Dear Don't Want to Take Advantage of a Friend in Need,

It sounds like you are interested in this girl, but want to be respectful of what she is going through with her family member and not bombard her with anything she might not be ready for at this time. FX thinks that it is very caring and considerate of you to be thinking about this!

FX thinks there are three options you can go with:

  1. You could wait a little longer before approaching her in any way, until you feel a good amount of time has gone by that she will feel comfortable with you asking her out.
  2. You can let her know that you sympathize with what she is going through with her family member and let her know that you are there for her if she ever needs anything. You can then see what she does and let things go from there.
  3. You can be honest with her that you would like to ask her out, but that you also recognize she is in the middle of lot with her family right now. You can tell her that if and when she feels ready for you to ask her on a date, to please call or text your cell phone. Assure her that you understand she is going through a tough time and that you want her to take all the time she needs. You can also let her know that if she is nowhere near being ready to date, you are happy to be there for her as a friend.

 

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