Sex With Best Friend Has Left Me Uncomfortable And Avoiding Him

Published: October 10, 2012
Dear Sex With Best Friend Has Left Me Uncomfortable And Avoiding Him,

Hi I'm 15 and had sex with my best friend and lately I've been avoiding him because I don't feel comfortable talking about what happened andI don't know what to do. Can you help?

Dear Sex With Best Friend Has Left Me Uncomfortable And Avoiding Him,

TeenHealthFX thinks that it is important to talk to your best friend about this. Odds are you are not the only one feeling uncomfortable and unsure of where to go from here. But if the two of you really are best friends and care about one another, it will be helpful to each of you and to your relationship with one another to clear the air about what happened.

FX suggests you start by thinking about what made you choose to have sex with your best friend. Have your feelings gone from a platonic to a romantic level? Were you just feeling curious and felt like your friend would be a safe person to experiment with? Once you are clear about what motivated you to have sex and what you want from the relationship going forward, it will be easier for you to talk to your best friend and be clear with him about where you stand. FX suggests you tell him that you need some private time to talk. Let him know why you chose to have sex with him, how you are feeling about it now, and what you hope for the relationship for the future. And then see if you can get an understanding from him about where he is at with all of this. Then talk about what needs to happen for the two of you to ease back into a relationship where you can feel comfortable with one another. This conversation may feel uncomfortable for you, but if you guys really mean that much to one another, the discomfort will be worth it in the end.


FX also thinks it’s important for the two of you to be educated on such things as pregnancy prevention, STDs, and sexual readiness. It would be helpful for both of you to read the following articles so you can protect yourselves and make health decisions for yourselves:


If you have any concerns that pregnancy or an STD transmission might have occurred, talk to your doctor about it. If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-5199 for an appointment with an adolescent medicine specialist or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.