I Just Want To Kiss Her

Published: May 31, 2013
Dear TeenHealthFX,

I think I'm starting to fall in love with my best friend. I'm a 17 year old girl and she's 18. We're very close. I've always known myself to be straight, but in the last month or so I've felt something more intimate for her. I'm not homophobic, and I'm not sexually attracted to other girls. It's just her. I'm not thinking about sex with her, but the last few times we've hung out, I just want to kiss her. I don't, because she's straight and would make things awkward, especially because I don't completely understand what I'm feeling. Is my head just giving my body a physical reaction to our close friendship or am I really going lesbian for her?

Dear I Just Want To Kiss Her,

It is not unusual to have a sexual attraction to a person of the same sex especially during the teen years. Your sexual identity is forming and evolving and can become confusing at times. As you put it, “the body gives the head messages that it doesn’t understand.”

It probably would be best not to act on your impulse until you have a better understanding of your feelings. The feeling may pass, just be a point of curiosity or there may be a genuine sexual attraction.  Once you have a better insight into what you are feeling then you can make a decision on how to move forward.

Since she is a close friend, the best thing to do would be to have an open discussion with her if your attraction is really strong. It might be awkward, but being honest is at the core of any true relationship. It doesn’t mean you have to act on anything; you are just trying to understand your feelings.

In the end one’s sexuality is what it is. TeenHealthFX would not look at this as some sort of defining moment. It is part of the growth process.

Signed: TeenHealthFX