I Think I'm In Love With My Best Friend - What Should I Do?

Published: May 18, 2015
Dear I Think I'm In Love With My Best Friend - What Should I Do?,

Okay, so I'm a 18 year old girl and I really need help. I think I'm in love with my best friend who is also a girl. I'm so confused about this because I've never been into girls before. I've always liked guys. And she's the only girl that I feel about this way. I still find guys attractive and I don't find any girl attractive except for my best friend. It's more of an emotional connection too rather than a physical attraction. I don't know what to do or if I should tell her because she's a lesbian but I doubt she likes me. She's never shown any sign of liking me. At least I don't think she has. And I'm pretty sure she currently has a small crush on some other girl. But keeping this inside is killing me. I want to tell her but i don't wanna risk losing the friendship if she doesn't like me back. She's like my only friend and I can't imagine living without her. Please help me because this whole situation has been making me feel depressed for months now and I'm just so lost.

Dear I Think I'm In Love With My Best Friend - What Should I Do?,

It sounds like you are feeling unclear as to whether your feelings indicate a desire for a romantic relationship with your best friend, or rather the desire for a special, emotional connection with someone else that is not necessary sexual in nature. That said, before you talk to your friend about this, TeenHealth FX would recommend that you speak about this with a trusted adult who can provide you the support and guidance you need to better understand your feelings and to best decide on how to handle this issue with your friend. It is understandable that you would feel confused about the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing right now – so FX does think it would be more helpful to you (and your relationship with your best friend) in the long run for you to have a better handle on what is going on with you before you pursue anything or start up conversations with her about this.

You can speak to your parents, a school counselor, or a private therapist about the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. Think of an adult who can be there for you in a warm, non-judgmental manner as you work to sort this out.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.