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Better Advice on Asexuality

Published: February 28, 2013
Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am the person that asked about becoming asexual a few days ago. I understand that you want to me to become comfortable with having a sex drive but I just don't want one. Not only do I not like the feeling of sexual arousal but I also don't want my sex drive to potentially corrupt me. I have good grades and I have great relations with my friends including ones of the opposite sex and I fear that if I actually acted on my sexual urges that I would devote less time to the important stuff in life and that I might somehow mess up my friendships with members of the opposite sex. Everything was much easier before I hit puberty but now I am being annoyed by my sex drive. And as for sexual orientation not being a choice I know some bisexual and homosexual people personally who say that they chose their sexual orientation. My cousin is 10 years older than me and says he chose to be gay so I think it is possible for me to become asexual. I just want to know how. Can you please give me better advice since I am not interested in seeing a therapist because I don't trust them.

Dear Better Advice on Asexuality,

TeenHealthFX’s just wants you to be comfortable with who you are. We might just be getting hung up on semantics. You state, “I am being annoyed by my sex drive,” and we were trying to communicate that for someone who is asexual the sex drive is absent. Not having a sex drive simply part of who they are. Even if you believe sexuality is a choice, the person has a sexual drive that is expressed in some way. TeenHealthFX makes this distinction out of consideration for the asexual community who want the public to understand that asexuality is a sexual orientation and not a choice.

TeenHealthFX is not sure if we have any better advice then to seek out counseling. If you are reluctant to see a therapist because you don’t trust them, the only thing we can say is to give the process a chance. If a prior experience is influencing your decision, we would suggest giving it another chance. Sometimes it takes time to find a professional who you feel comfortable with and really can trust. TeenHealthFX simply wants you to have an outlet to help you sort out your feelings and help you accomplish your goals.


Signed: TeenHealthFX