Sexuality & Sexual Health: Miscellaneous / Question
Published: March 4, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 16 year old female in a healthy and loving relationship with a happy home life. Nothing too unusual goes on in my life, except for this one thing. I fantasize a lot (usually while masturbating, but not always) about women being raped. I do not think that rape is acceptable at all, and feel much rage when I hear about it actually occuring, but I still fantasize about this and become aroused by it. An example of a fantasy would be a woman being taken against her will to a locker room. She'll be screaming and crying and each member of a football team will take a turn having sex with her. The woman is always a virgin and is completely devastated. I really don't know what to make of this. I am not a violent person and believe very strongly in human and animal rights...but I still do this, and I am rather confused. Should I be worried? I hope that you can offer at least on opinion on this. Thank you. -rape fantasies
Signed: Rape Fantasies
Dear Rape Fantasies,
Sometimes women have "rape fantasies", in which an unknown man or a group of men sexually overtakes them. However, in no way does having such a fantasy mean that a woman wants to be raped in real life. When a woman has a "rape" fantasy, she is actually controlling the conditions of the encounter in her mind. This safe and idealized fantasy of sexually submitting to a powerful stranger is a far different from the trauma of actual rape. Similarly, most men who fantasize about sexually overpowering a woman are not would-be rapists. People who feel guilty about their fantasies need to remind themselves that there is a big difference between imagining doing something and actually carrying it out. Kinsey Institute, in the US, which pioneered academic research into sexual behavior more than 50 years ago, says: "It is easy to understand why some people might feel guilt and concern about their fantasies. Nevertheless, having any particular fantasy is, by itself, generally not seen as an indication that a person has a psychological problem or personality disorder."
While sexual fantasy, in itself, is harmless, sometimes fantasizing can signal problems in one's personal life. Warning signs can include fantasies that are compulsive (you can't stop thinking about it) or the inability to get aroused without fantasizing. If you suspect that fantasy is a problem for you then it might be a good idea for you to talk to a therapist. Therapy can help you explore the origin of the fantasies and help you gain insight as to why the fantasies are stimulating to you.
If you live in northern New Jersey and would like help finding a mental health professional, you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Each year, half of all HIV infections are among people under the age of 25.
