TeenHealthFX - Answers - I Cry From 4-12 at Night

Suicide / Question
Published: October 1, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I hate my life so much. My best friend died, and my other friend is going to die soon too. Me and my girlfriend have been dating 4 about 9 months, and I know it sounds crazy, but I am crazily in love with her and always was, and now she's doing things 2 hurt me and she knows they hurt me and I have asked her before not to and she still does it. We broke up about a month ago. But she always says we are always going to be best friends and she always says sorry, but she still does it! She has the same problems because that person I said was dying is like one of her best friends ever. And she lost her boyfriend who she really likes too. And when I try to tell her that she keeps hurting me, she still does it. And I've tried to not be friends with her, but I just get so upset that I cant take it and I work things out with her. I always want to die 24/7, and I start crying in school, and after school when I get home, I cry from 400 to 1200 at night. I want 2 end my life so bad, but I feel like I can work things out with her. I have tried to get help, but it doesn't work. Please help me out!

Signed: I Cry From 4-12 at Night

Dear I Cry From 4-12 at Night,

You sound like you are feeling a lot of pain and TeenHealthFX can see why. Having problems in an important relationship (your girlfriend) and losing someone you care about (your best friend) are both very hard to deal with, especially on your own. TeenHealthFX is really concerned about you. You also stated in your question that you want to end your life - again another and most major concern for us. We don't want you to end your life and we really want you to get help to work through these issues.

If you are to the point that you are seriously considering suicide, you need to seek help immediately. You can call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline for Morristown Memorial Hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Again, TeenHealthFX hears how down you are feeling. Sometimes just talking about your problems with a professional can help a person to see their what's going on in their lives more clearly and help make solutions seem more possible. Even if you do not feel suicidal, you still seem depressed and could benefit from getting the help of an adult. Your parents, a teacher or a school nurse could help you to get involved in therapy and counseling. You did state that you reached out for help in the past but it did not work. You need to do this again.

You seem to mention your girlfriend a great deal when discussing your problems. This is something that a counselor can help you deal with by letting you explore your feelings about the way your girlfriend is treating you, if it is a healthy and worthwhile relationship and may even be able to give you hints and advice on how to deal with the situation differently. Your other main issue seems to be the death of someone you loved. Again, a therapist can help to ease the pain by discussing your grief issues with you.

For help finding a therapist in northern New Jersey, call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. If you live outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX