TeenHealthFX - Answers - Justa Nobody - One Last Reach For Help

Questions About Therapy/Concerns About Therapists / Question
Published: November 19, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

This is the second time I have written and I am hoping soon one of them will be answered. I have many problems. Where to begin - I've been suicidal since 7 been cutting since 12 I'm 16 now and last year I attempted suicide, spent time in 2 different mental institutions and several months in an outpatient program. I'm having serious trouble. I'm taking all my medications like I'm supposed to but my cutting is not only coming back again but I work on one spot until it really bleeds. I'm dealing with other stuff too; suddenly I'm so paranoid I swear they're watching. Who I don't know and now I get these sort of daydreams where I completely snap out of reality and my mind shows me pictures and I hear sounds and when I snap out I have no idea how much time passed or what happened during that time. I've explained this to my therapist and she just dismissed it. I can't stand it anymore. I don't know what to do with myself and I don't want to go back to the mental institutions. They definitely did NOT help me it made things worse. When I go my parents they get mad at me and rub it in my face all the pain I've caused. I can't go through that again I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. It's just like last year suicide seems to be the answer. That's it then I wouldn't have to worry about this, my nightmares, or getting up to face school or people in the morning it would just be over. But I decided this would be my one last reach for help. Please don't just give me a suicide hotline number. I need help on this one. I can't do this anymore.

Signed: Justa Nobody - One Last Reach For Help

Dear Justa Nobody - One Last Reach For Help,

TeenHealthFX understands that there is a lot going on in your life right now. Cutting, feeling depressed, suicidal and paranoid is no way for anyone to live. These symptoms that you describe can be treated effectively with a combination of medication and therapy.

It is a good start that you have been in treatment and have a therapist. TeenHealthFX recommends that you be totally honest with your therapist about what you are feeling and experiencing. Show him or her what you wrote to us and let them know you want help. Your therapist can talk to your parents about what you are experiencing and how best to help you. Your therapist can also refer you to a psychiatrist who can evaluate you and prescribe medication if it could help you. If your therapist dismisses what you say, then you need to tell your parents so that they can find you another therapist and/or psychiatrist.

Being hospitalized may also be a treatment option for you. Being hospitalized because you are suicidal is not a means of punishment. The purpose of a hospitalization is to keep you in a safe intensive treatment environment until you no longer feel like hurting yourself. Telling your parents or therapist how you feel does not mean that you will automatically end up in a hospital. However, if you are actively suicidal or seriously depressed then you have to consider that this might be the safest place for you.

For help in finding therapists in northern New Jersey, you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. For information and resources about cutting, check out Self-Abuse Finally Ends (S.A.F.E.) Alternatives.

And just in case-crisis hotlines are a valuable source of support and are always available. If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX