Helping Friends And Loved Ones With Their Emotional Issues / Question
Published: February 23, 2001
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I know two people that cut themselves and are very open about it. Should I tell someone? I don't want them to get upset at me though? What should I do?
Signed: Confused About Friend Cutters
Dear Confused About Friend Cutters,
TeenHealthFX knows how difficult, and as you put it, confusing, it is to see people you care about hurt themselves on purpose. Your concern about them shows that you are a good and sensitive friend.
What you are describing is referred to as self-injury or self-mutilation. Your concern for your friends is definitely warranted. Psychological distress that your friends probably cannot talk about is causing them to do this. Self-mutilation occurs mostly in young people, and it is three times more common in women than in men. Some people self-injure by scratching their skin with a sharp object, others intentionally cut or burn themselves, jab themselves with needles or rub glass into their skin. People who self-mutilate often have depression.
There are many different reasons that people self-mutilate. Some people say that they feel numb and unable to feel or experience anything. Self-mutilation can be an attempt to feel something in their lives. Even though it is painful it reminds them that they are alive. It can be a way of temporarily coping with pain that seems to dissipate as they see blood flow from their self-inflicted wounds. People sometimes cut themselves to relieve tension and anxiety.
So what can you do? Your friends need to get help. People who self-injure are at higher risk for attempting suicide. And sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between self-injurious and suicidal behavior. Talk to your friends about your concern for them and ask them if they are feeling suicidal. If they are feeling suicidal go with them to tell their parents or school counselor. If they are not able or willing at this time to talk to someone, we strongly encourage you to talk to their parents or a counselor at school who can do something for them.
The best thing you can do for your friends is to urge them to get help or get help on their behalf. They need professional guidance to help them overcome their self-injuring behavior and get to the root of their problems. For some additional information about self-injury you can check this link: Self-Abuse Finally Ends (S.A.F.E.) Alternatives.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Persons aged 15-24, who represent only 14% of the 
