TeenHealthFX - Answers - Unhappy After 1st Semester At College

Other Emotional Health Issues / Question
Published: February 19, 2004

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I've just completed my first semester of college and am seriously unhappy. The academic side of it is fine-- I finished with fairly high grades and enjoyed most of my classes. On the social side of it, however, I am not happy at all. I haven't found "my crowd" even though I have met many people. I've done everything to meet new people; talked to people in my hall, joined student organizations, gone out to different events, you name it. I still feel like a loner and I can't stand it because that's not who I am at all. My school is HUGE on drinking & parties, but I don't drink and I've never been much of a partyer, which doesn't help me out at all. I've considered transferring for next fall but I've decided not to for a number of reasons including that I won't be in the country for a majority of the summer, my school has a pretty good academic program/reputation and that transferring would absolutely crush my parents (I know that's a lousy reason). I've always marched to the beat of my own drum, but I feel so secluded and I've lost a ton of my self-confidence since college started. It's winter break right now, and I've been trying not to think of going back to school. I know my problem isn't homesickness because I really don't mind being away from home, but it's just that I can't stand it at school and would much rather be at home with family and friends. Sorry for the rant, but this was my 1st choice college and I couldn't wait to start school this year. Now I can't stand it-- any advice would be GREATLY appreciated.

Signed: Unhappy After 1st Semester At College

Dear Unhappy After 1st Semester At College,

Not feeling like you fit in and not having found "your crowd" after your first semester at college sounds very discouraging. TeenHealthFX is glad that you are doing well academically, but understands that not feeling in the mix socially can be really tough. Overall, this is not a very good situation because if you remain unhappy emotionally, your grades will most likely start to drop making your self-confidence even worse.

TeenHealthFX is glad that you tried to join organization and get yourself involved last semester, but feels for you because you did not feel like you fit in. When you go back in January, FX highly recommends that you try this again by joining different clubs and again, getting yourself involved. Maybe, you just have not found the right one yet. FX is glad that you are not into the party scene and we hope that you remain that way. Drinking and partying is not a healthy way to deal with this.

You are right - if you are unhappy, staying at this college for your parents, because you are traveling, or because it has a good academic program are not good reasons. If you are truly unhappy then you should at the very least be applying to other schools for next fall. You then can create a backup for yourself if you are still have not found your niche after this semester.

Talk to your parents about it, they may be more understanding than you think. A good conversation starter would be printing out this question.

Good luck and try to keep your spirits up.

Signed: TeenHealthFX