TeenHealthFX - Answers - Me & My Friend Are In Danger

Cutting / Question
Published: February 5, 2004

Dear TeenHealthFX,

Hi, my friend has had lots of problems in her life. Her parents aren't quite the best family ever. She is adopted and her parents practically let her do anything she wants and she is only 13 years old. Well anyhow, her father hits her and her mother verbally abuses her. She is failing in school and got raped from a guy she thought was her friend. I am concerned about her because she has started cutting herself. The first time I thought she was just going threw a little faze but I was still worried. The second time was huge! She did it in school and ran out of the building. I ran out of the school when it was like 50 degrees and went looking around the whole town for her. I finally found her at my friend's house. She had no shoes and no jacket. She had blood all over her arm. She is always depressed. I am very scared that she will do it again but I don't know what to do to help her. She is getting help by going to this club but I don't think it is working too much. I feel useless because my parents don't want me hanging around with her because they think she is dangerous. I cut myself because of what she did and she made me feel depressed. My other friend cut herself because of what my friend did. I am so worried. I do not know what I can do. Her family abuses her and so do my parents. I know exactly what she is going through but have no way of how to help her or myself. I am scared that her and I will do something bad enough that could kill. PLEASE HELP MY FRIEND AND ME!!!

Signed: Me & My Friend Are In Danger

Dear Me & My Friend Are In Danger,

You and your friend have a lot going on and a great deal to work through and TeenHealthFX is concerned for you both. However, before you can be of help to someone else, you need to take care of yourself. Everyone is responsible for their own feelings, emotions and behaviors. You mentioned that you are depressed, cutting and abused because of your friend - it is your responsibility to get yourself the help you need. You took the important first step of writing to TeenHealthFX.

If you are having thoughts of suicide and have formulated a plan or are scared of your impulses, then you need to seek help right away. You can call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. Or, if you live in northern New Jersey, you can phone the Atlantic Health System Crisis Hotline at 973.540.0100. Outside this area you can call National Hope Line at 1.800.SUICIDE (800.784.2433). This same information goes for your friend as well.

If you are not in crisis right at this moment, TeenHealthFX still urges you to get some help. Since you mentioned your parents as a source of abuse, we recommend that you speak with another trusted adult about what is going on. Talk to a teacher, school nurse or counselor. They can assist you with getting into counseling and starting to feel better. Also, they will report any potential abuse and then it will be investigated by Children's Services in your area. You can also call your local Child Protective Services yourself - the toll free number is 800-522-3511. You can also log onto ChildHelp USA for reporting in your community.

You you seem like a very good and caring friend and TeenHealthFX admires this, but it is important to know that you can only help your friend by directing her to get the help that she needs. She can use the information that we have given you. You cannot fix her situation, but you can definitely work to fix your own.

Signed: TeenHealthFX