Helping Friends/Loved Ones Who Are Suicidal Or In Abusive Situations / Question
Published: June 13, 2001
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My friend told me that her step-dad hit her and this has happened before. Im worried about her and I don't know what to do. Please help me.
Signed: Step Dad Hitting Friend
Dear Step Dad Hitting Friend,
It is understandable that you are worried about your friend. The fact that she confided in you indicates that she wants the situation to change.
The first things you can encourage your friend to do is to talk to her mother or biological father and let either know that her stepfather is hurting her. Hopefully her mother or father will deal with the situation and the abuse will stop.
If your friend's mother and/or father does not do anything about this, you should try to encourage her to confide in an adult such as a teacher, school counselor or school nurse. These individuals are then required (by law) to report the abuse to the Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) in New Jersey or Child Protective Services in other states. The state agency will then conduct an investigation to determine if abuse or neglect is taking place. If abuse is taking place then the family will be required to attend counseling or the child will be removed to a safer environment.
If your friend does not want to do this or is afraid, then you have the option of reporting the abuse yourself. Since you are not a professional who deals with children, the law does not require that you notify the appropriate agency. This would be a big decision and only you could make it. Because it is such a big decision and has a lot of consequences, it would be best for you to talk it over with your parents. Something like this can very extremely stressful and your parent's support would make a big difference.
Remember, there are professionals whose job is to protect children from abuse. Your role is as a friend. It is important to remember that you can only be there for your friend. You are not qualified or able to change this situation without professional help.
If your friend would like to meet with a therapist and lives in northern New Jersey, she can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888.247.1400 for an appointment.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Homicide is the second leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds overall. 
