TeenHealthFX - Answers - Depressed And Abused

Family Abuse And Violence / Question
Published: April 8, 2002

Dear TeenHealthFX,

Plz help me! I get abused by my dad and my mum get abused by him to he's an alcoholic! And hits us and stuff I just wanna die about a month ago I started cutting my arms and wrists I don't not want to do at first the cuts weren't very deep and now they are some of the bleed 2 days or more I don't want to tell my mum and definitely not my dad but want can I do please help me.

Signed: Depressed And Abused

Dear Depressed And Abused,

No one has the right to hurt you, not even your dad. Your father's alcoholism contributes to his abusive ways but alcohol does not cause them. Your dad needs help and you need to be protected. Since your mother is also being abused it is most likely that she is unable to stop your father's behavior. This is why it is so important that you confide in an adult you trust, such as a family member, teacher, school counselor or school nurse. You should be aware that most of the adults mentioned would be obligated to report the abuse to the child protective services in the state you live in. While this may seem like a betrayal to you, it is actually a way of making sure that you will be safe and the family will get the help it needs.

Cutting is often an unhealthy way of dealing with stress as well as being a cry for help. Cutting does not resolve anything and can also lead to medical complications. (See Cutting Myself and ANON About Cutting). TeenHealthFX is very worried because your cutting is become more severe which increases the chances of doing grave injury to yourself.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

In any case, you should seek therapy as soon as possible. Therapy will help you learn more effective ways of coping with the extreme stress you have been through. It will also help you see what an important, worthy person you really are. If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. For some additional information about self-injury you can check this link: Self-Abuse Finally Ends (S.A.F.E.) Alternatives.

The one thing you have to remember that there are solutions to your problems that do not involve harming yourself. As bad as things seem now, they can and will get better with help.

Signed: TeenHealthFX