Sexual Assault & Rape / Question
Published: April 22, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm a 17-year-old girl, living in NJ. My father has been raping me since I was 14. I have a boyfriend since I was 16 and no one knows except my boyfriend. I just told him recently. He told me he would make my father stop. I was extremely worried when he said this. I talked to his friend recently and he told me that my boyfriend had bought a gun from someone at school. Is my boyfriend going to shoot my father... I don't know what to do. This is all happening too fast, should I call the police? I don't know what to do.
Signed: Is My Boyfriend Going To Kill My Father
Dear Is My Boyfriend Going To Kill My Father,
Your boyfriend may want to help and protect you, but if he intends on using violence, he is going to make a horrible situation worse. If you know that your boyfriend is in possession of a gun and he has threatened to harm your father then you need to tell him that you do not want him to do that. You should also contact the police as well. What your father is doing is very wrong but killing him will only add to the list of lives he has shattered.
The appropriate way to protect yourself from your father is to contact child protective services in the county where you live in. If this seems overwhelming for you, tell a trusted adult such as a relative, teacher, school counselor or school nurse and ask for their help and support. Let your boyfriend know that if he really wants to be of assistance he can support you in this process.
Chances are that your father will be arrested and charged with a crime. It is important to remember that any consequences he faces are a result of his own actions. You are the victim here. Your father's job it was to protect you from harm but instead he took you advantage of you and for that, he alone is responsible.
Once this process gets going you would be wise to seek out therapy as a way of learning to cope with and comprehend what has happened to you.
In New Jersey, you can call the Division for Youth and Family Services at (800) 792.8610 (child protective services). Also, here is a national hotline number you can call that will give you more information and assist you in finding a therapist who specializes in abuse: Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAIN) 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) 24 hours, 7days a week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crimes and sexual assault, have serious problems in school, be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes, and develop problems with alcohol later in life.
