Self-Confidence & Self-Esteem Issues / Question
Published: December 24, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I don't like talking about my problems because I fell that I'm feeling sorry for myself but I'm concerned. I am 13 years old and I have no self-esteem. I can't walk into a store alone nor speak in public. Recently, there has been a dramastic change in my academic grades. I have never gotten below a 3.8 grade point average and recieved "Valedictorian" 3 years in a row. For my recent report card, I received a 2.8 GPA! My parents went crazy and are taking it really hard on me! My teachers are so concerned they're already thinking of dropping my electives!! It's not too hard and I know I could do it but I dont know whats happening! HELP!
Signed: 13 - Change In Academics - Don't Know What's Happening
Dear 13 - Change In Academics - Don't Know What's Happening,
TeenHealthFX hears how upset you are and understands how scary it can be to feel like you are not in control of your life and your feelings. You are smart to reach out for help, especially after such a dramatic change in your self-esteem and grades. Please understand that you do not need to feel that you are "feeling sorry for yourself" but rather, you are doing the right thing by admitting that you are feeling like you do not know what is happening.
Maintaining a 3.8 GPA for three years in a row is a terrific accomplishment that you can feel very proud of. However, dealing with continued high expectations from your parents, teachers and even yourself can be extremely stressful and difficult to deal with. Although you have shown that you are capable of doing the work, something is going on in your life that needs to be addressed. Some reasons for feeling as you do include such things as stress, depression and anxiety but TeenHealthFX cannot tell over the internet exactly what is going on; you need to be evaluated by a health professional for this.
TeenHealthFX wants you to talk to your parents and tell them what you are going through. If it helps, you can print out this answer and show it to them. Once they understand that you are struggling with feelings like these, then hopefully together you can get the help that you need to feel better again. Time, patience and hard work (in addition to being honest about how badly you are feeling) in regular therapy sessions have been proven to help many others with similar feelings over time. If you feel that they are not listening, reach out to another trusted adult like a teacher, coach or school counselor who can get you the help you need. Wherever you decide to look for support -- please remember -- depression is a treatable condition.
If you feel that you are in such distress that you may do harm to yourself, then you should go to the nearest hospital emergency room for an emergency psychiatric consultation. In northern New Jersey you can call Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973.540.0100 for immediate assistance. Outside this area you can call: Suicide & Crisis Hotline 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crimes and sexual assault, have serious problems in school, be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes, and develop problems with alcohol later in life.
