TeenHealthFX - Answers - Evil Thoughts About Loved Ones

Anger / Question
Published: February 23, 2006

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I'm afraid. Not of anyone else. Just of myself. I find myself surrounded by people I have known for years and I love dearly. But sometimes, I think evil thoughts about them. About friends and people at school mostly. I can be smiling at them as though they are important to me, but at the same time, I can look at them..in the eyes.. and think how I would sometimes love nothing better than to have them die. Or that I can fool them into thinking I am so sympathetic when in fact, I am apathetic. I hate to hear their problems and I can imagine myself hurting them badly, but smile and say nothing at all. When I'm mad, I give those I'm angry with the silent treatment, because I scare even my best friend when I get mad. I scream and rave until I'm blue in the face. I scare myself and want it to stop. What do I do?

Signed: Evil Thoughts About Loved Ones

Dear Evil Thoughts About Loved Ones,

TeenHealthFX is glad that you are reaching out for help with this. We can understand that you’re feeling scared since it can be extremely frightening for a person to feel like his/her anger can get so out of control, or that angry thoughts towards others can be so intense.

FX definitely recommends that you meet with a mental health professional as soon as possible so you can start to deal with your anger. Your therapist will probably explore with you some of the underlying causes of your anger, as well as what may contributing to your feelings of apathy and wanting others to be hurt in some way. You may also want to consider meeting with a psychiatrist to determine whether or not some type of psychotropic medication would be beneficial. Extreme angry reactions to things are sometimes characteristic of certain mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder. Depending on your age, medical history and symptoms, a psychiatrist might recommend a medication to reduce the intensity of the anger.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering acting out your anger or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week

Signed: TeenHealthFX