Death & Dying / Question
Published: April 28, 2007
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I have issues with the concepts of death and dying. I've been holding all of this in for sometime now so I'm glad I found your site. Sometimes I feel that I am going insane when I think about life and eventually my death. Not only am I scared by the thought of my own death, I am terrified of the idea of death in general. While I was younger probably around 8 years old (I am now 21), I had frequent suicidal thoughts. I wanted to take my life quickly so I would spare myself the long drawn out death of old age. I became self destructive, abusing various drugs at age 12. I worry about my overall health. I am told by close friends and family members that I am a hypochondriac and I am slowly starting to believe them. I feel that my health issues are real but I find that I am too embarassed to mention them because they will ridicule me. I tend to use internet information to perform a self-diagnosis which can be scary. Last summer I finally went to the doctor at my college to address some health issues I had been having for years. It turned out that I had been neglecting health issues such as a bladder infection (which was abnormal because it had a low white cell count?) among other things. As I've matured, I've become more appreciative of life and I WANT to live. But this scares me even more because I feel like I've battered my body emotionally and physically and now death will come sooner. I quit smoking cigarettes last Jan 2005. I smoke marijuana occasionally, about every 4-5 months since Jan 05. I've stopped drinking completely and started exercising and eating more healthily. I've become some sort of health freak. At times I feel normal but other times I feel worried and have anxiety attacks when I think about death. I look at life as some cruel punishment that people have to suffer through. I feel like im dying at times but I am too scared to see a doctor about my issues to the point where I have anxiety attacks and hyperventilate. I am afraid of bad news. I feel hopeless.
Signed: Issues With The Concepts of Death And Dying
Dear Issues With The Concepts of Death And Dying,
TeenHealthFX is also glad that you found our site since it sounds like there are some issues which have been negatively impacting your thoughts, feelings and behavior. FX gives you a lot of credit for recognizing that there might be some emotional health issues which need to be addressed, as well as for the significant efforts you have already made in terms of leading a healthier lifestyle (i.e., quitting smoking, not drinking anymore, exercising more often and adopting healthier eating patterns).
FX recommends that you meet with a mental health professional to address the fears that get triggered around issues of death and dying, the panic attacks you have been experiencing and your feelings of hopelessness. Although it might feel difficult right now, FX wants you to know that there definitely is hope that you can work through these issues and generally feel better about yourself and about life. It may take time and will definitely take some work on your part – but it can happen!
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teen girls ages 15-19 have the highest Gonorrhea rate of any age group.
