Depression / Question
Published: February 23, 2004
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Look I'm kind of having a dilemma, as I'm still 21 and a virgin. The fact is that I was born with hypospadias and a undescended testicle, this has controlled my life both physically and mentally as I feel inept to have sexual relations, it has even caused me to second guess my sexuality as I have had relationships but never gone far enough.This in turn led to drug and alcohol abuse, which seems to have left me with severe paranoia and personality problems causing low self-confidence and depression. I have basically been the same person since I was 16, everyone around me progresses with life while I'm still in a state of contemplation as to who the real me is all my friends seem to distance themselves from me now.In a word I just want to know if there is anyone out there who I could talk too because suicide has definitely popped its head round frequently. I know it's my own problem and I just need the balls to find out (excuse the pun) but I'm severely lacking in social behavior, mainly due to the drugs.Please print an answer as I'm up a creek basically.
Signed: Born With Hypopadis
Dear Born With Hypopadis,
For the benefit of all our readers, hypospadia in males is a condition where the opening of the urethra (the tube that carries urine and semen out of the body) forms on the underside of the penis. An undescended testicle is one that has stopped somewhere along its normal path of descent from inside the abdomen to the scrotum. A baby boy may be born with one or both testicles undescended. Another term for undescended testicles is cryptorchidism, which means, "hidden testicle." A male who has both a hypospadia and undescended testicle(s) has a greater chance of having an intersex disorder. An intersex disorder occurs when a baby that is genetically male or female develops characteristics of the opposite sex because of abnormalities in their chromosomes or endocrine system.
TeenHealthFX imagines that having both of these disorders has played a significant role in your life and caused problems with your self-esteem. As you probably have come to realize using drugs and alcohol to numb your feelings is not an effective way to deal with your problems. Before you find out "who the real me is" you need to shed the cloak of drugs and alcohol. Getting sober will clear the way for you to answer some of the difficult questions you have been wrestling with.
Talk to your doctor and urologist and share some of the medical and sexual concerns you may have. Your doctor may be able to recommend a therapist who specializes in dealing with medical disorders and their emotional impact. You could also contact the Hypospadias Association of America, which offers educational material as well as online support.
You didn't say if your hypospadias and undescended testicle have been surgically repaired. IF not, you should consult a urologist. If you live in northern New Jersey and would like to meet with a doctor from the Adolescent/Young Adult Center For Health you can call 973-971-6457 for an appointment.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
At least 50% of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives.
