Depression / Question
Published: October 26, 2006
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I don't know what's going on anymore in my life, i can't tell you what way is up or down. I'm so lost in life that i have turn to alcohol, cigaretts and even drugs but nothing makes me feel better so of the pass few months i have turn to cutting my wrist. When i was younger i lost my best friend and i went into a deep depression i told myself i would never cut myself again but i am doing it. my parents told me in december ( this december)that they were not happy and now they have told me they are splitting up my father dosent come home anymore and my mother is running off with a new b/f so she leaves me home all alone, the nights she leaves me i just sit in my room and cry.The people ( friends) who i trust and told them how i feel are now lieing to me or going behind my back and saying stuff about me. when i lost my friend i had a eating disorder and now that has came back too. some nights when i can get asleep i dream of a different world one that i do not live in or one that i am all by myself. During the days,i just dream of a better place. I think about suicide and at times it does sound better than my life. My habbits with sex has also change at first that was all i wanted to do, but now i can't even look at a guy with out getting sick to my stomack. My mother dosent seem to care when i tryed to talk to her so i have stop that now anyway she is never home. Im so confused it seems like the only thing that makes me happy now is a bottle and a razor, even things that use to make me happy dosent work. I have a short temper with things and people and even my animals. I will never hurt my dog cause he is my life but i just can't stand to be in the same room as he, and when i am and he looks at me i just cry. When i do go out i put on make up hide the cutts put on a skirt and a smile like life is all good im living in my own fantsy world out side my home, but once im home and the skirt is off the make is off the bottle of pills are now going into my mouth and than i feel alone and sad and now i dont know what
Signed: Don't Know What Is Going On Anymore
Dear Don't Know What Is Going On Anymore,
TeenHealthFX can hear how difficult things are feeling for you right now. It sounds like you are feeling very alone between your parents being in the middle of a separation, your mother being preoccupied with her new boyfriend, and your friends not reacting to you in a caring way. While there is never a good time to feel cut off from friends and family, dealing with substance abuse, an eating disorder, sad and angry moods, self-cutting, and suicidal thoughts is a time where you absolutely need to feel like you have people around you to support, help, and love you.
That said, FX thinks that it is very important that you seek help with these issues as soon as possible, which includes increasing your support system. We hope that you will try some or all of the following recommends in order to accomplish this:
- FX knows that you have already tried to talk to you mother, and you have not felt like she has really heard you. But FX would like you to try speaking with each of your parents one more time. Tell each of them about the cutting, suicidal thoughts, eating disorder, and substance abuse you are currently dealing with – you can even show them this letter if that helps to get the ball rolling. Let them know that you need their help in dealing with these issues, which includes setting up an appointment to meet with a mental health professional. If they try to minimize or blow off what you are saying to them, try and stay calm, keep making eye contact with them, and repeat as many as times necessary that these are serious issues and you need them to hear you and help you.
- If after speaking with them your parents do not arrange for counseling for you, speak to someone at school – the school social worker, psychologist, guidance counselor, school nurse, or any other trusted adult there and let them know what is going on with you. Again, you could even show them this letter so they are clear about what you are currently dealing with. This way you will have an adult at the school advocating for what you need in order to feel emotionally stable. It is important that you meet with a therapist so that you can begin to work through the negative feelings you understandably have about the difficult circumstances in your life, as well as to help you to develop healthy methods of dealing with these stressors. A therapist could also meet with you and your parents to get them actively involved in this situation, to help them to better understand what is troubling you, and to help them learn ways in which they can be more helpful and supportive of you.
- Find a trusted adult in school and ask that person if it would be possible for you to check in with him/her during days at school when you are having a hard time and need someone to talk to.
- Check with your school or local mental health agencies to see if there are any therapy groups available for people in your age range. Very often it can be helpful to have the support of your peers when going through such a tough time.
- See if there are any extended family members whose help you can enlist – a grandparent, older sibling, aunt or uncle. That person could be another source of support for you – someone to talk to or to give you advice when you are feeling stuck with a stressful situation. That person may also be able to help in terms of intervening with your parents to ensure they are giving you what you need right now.
If you live in northern
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern
The following are some hotlines and links you might also find useful:
- Self-Injury Hotline (information only, not a crisis line), 1-800-DON’T-CUT, 1-800-366-8288
- National Institute on Drug Abuse & Alcoholism, 1-888-644-6432
- American Cancer Society , 1-800-227-2345, The ACS offers information on local cessation programs and provides smoking cessation literature.
- National Cancer Institute, 1-800-422-6237, The National Cancer Institute provides literature on smoking cessation. While they provide individuals to go over the literature with callers, they are not trained counselors.
- School Based Youth Services Program targets adolescents in high schools throughout
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Smoking is the leading preventable cause of death in this country. More than 400,000 Americans die from tobacco-related causes each year, and most of them began using tobacco before the age of 18.
