TeenHealthFX - Answers - Bottling Up My Feelings

Suicide / Question
Published: September 28, 2006

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I'm 14 and for most of my life I have been a happy person. I get good grades, play sports, and most teachers think of me as a leader for my classmates. But over the past few months it seems like my entire world has been crumbling down. It started with the suicide of my friend, and just seemed to get worse. I have problems with my mom all the time, and my dad's job requires him to be gone a lot. I feel like my mom doesn't understand what I am going through. She seems to think that I should just be a clone of my older brother, and that I should just be unaffected by teenage problems. She talks about the suicide like its nothing, and puts me down in front of my family and friends. It makes me feel so angry, then so worthless. I've never cut myself or attempted suicide, but I've found myself thinking about how I could kill myself. And on top of it all, I’ve found that I can't even open up to my one best friend who always understood me. He always regards my problems as nothing. I ha vent told anyone about this, but I feel like if I keep bottling up my feelings I’ll end up hurt or dead within a matter of a few months.

Signed: Bottling Up My Feelings

Dear Bottling Up My Feelings,

TeenHealthFX thinks that it is very difficult to go through adolescence totally unaffected by the pressures and life circumstances that go along with the teenage years – especially when it involved dealing with something as traumatic as a friend’s suicide, which is a terribly difficult thing to deal with at any stage of life. So FX can understand that this would be a difficult time for you between dealing with your friend’s death and not feeling emotionally supported by your mother during such a difficult time.

Since you see that the difficulties you are having in coping with these stressors are pushing you in a direction where you may try to hurt or kill yourself, FX strongly recommends that you meet with a mental health professional as soon as possible. Whether you discuss these issues with a private therapist or with a school social worker or psychologist (or both), it is important that you connect with an adult about these issues so that he/she can help you to find healthier ways to cope with these stressors and can work with you and your mother on finding ways to strengthen your relationship with one another where you are not constantly feeling dismissed or criticized by her.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX