Eating Disorders / Question
Published: July 23, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm 17 years old. A month ago my boyfriend of 10 months and I broke up. For the past month I had been feeling really sad, disappointed, upset, and I cried almost every day. My parents and nobody else really knows about this because I hide it and I try to act as if everything is fine. Basically because I know that if I tell them they will tell me to forget him and move on because he isn't worth it...but we all know that it is easier said than done. Sometimes while I was crying I would wish that I could close my eyes and not have to wake up, because the only time I felt calm and without feeling hurt inside, was when I was asleep. I didn't feel like going out or doing anything. It wasn't until this week that I have stopped crying. Sometimes I feel almost empty inside. It's strange because I haven't felt like this before and I wish I knew why I feel like this. But I have another problem... I feel sick to my stomach a lot. When I am at school I go get something to eat, but I wont eat it. I don't feel hungry. I try eating, but I cant...my stomach will hurt. Somebody told me it might be because I have been under a lot of stress, but it doesn't convince me. I have lost weight and I don't know why I feel like this. I'm not starving myself, but I'm just not hungry most of the time. I just wrote to you to see if you could give me advice about this whole thing although I know that the sadness and heartbreak will heal with time, but I'm mostly concerned about the whole eating thing.
Signed: Heartbroken With Eating Problem
Dear Heartbroken With Eating Problem,
TeenHealthFX thinks that your sadness and lost appetite might be caused by depression. Here are some of the warning signs of depression:
- Frequent sadness or irritability
- Decreased energy
- Decreased interest in usual activities
- Decreased or increased appetite
- Difficulty with sleep (sometimes too much or not enough)
- Lack of concentration (decline in school grades)
Sometimes depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in our bodies and sometimes it occurs in response to stressful life events. Whatever the cause - the most important issue is that you seek help so that you do not have to live with these unpleasant feelings. Depression is a treatable condition that can be brought under control with medication, therapy or a combination of both. Be honest with your parents and let them know how you have been feeling so they can assist you as you go through this difficult time. If they have trouble recognizing that you are depressed and feel that "every body goes through this phase," ask them to at least get you evaluated by a mental health professional because you feel it is more serious than just a phase.
If your depression gets to the point that you feel like hurting yourself or are scared you might, then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area you can call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline at 800.999.9999. Both hotlines are open 24 hours, seven days a week.
To find a therapist in northern New Jersey, call Atlantic Behavioral Health's ACCESS Center at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area, you can log onto to the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) website for local resources.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens whose parents talk to them regularly about the dangers of drugs are 42% less likely to use drugs than those whose parents don’t, yet only 1 in 4 teens report having these conversations. 
