TeenHealthFX - Answers - Nervous About High School

Worries, Fears and Anxiety Disorders / Question
Published: July 30, 2007

Dear TeenHealthFX,

Im starting high school and Im a bit nervous. Heres my list: 1. All of my friends say that freshman year was hell and its going to be hell for me. They say it is because Im shy...which is true. I prefer people coming up to me, because Im afraid they wont like me or something. When I hang out with someone for a couple of days, I start to open up and show my true self. Now...see how I say a "couple of days"...that means if they give up on me...theres no hope. 2. I came from a TINY TINY TINY private school (last year, my class only had 9 people...including me. It was 6th-8th grade) and Im now going to a big public school...they have about a 1000 students. My school, tops, had 350 (pre k-12 grade...they closed the H/S last year). Im afraid I'll get lost or something... 3. Im afraid Im going to fail math...Ive always had trouble in math. The reason Ive been passing math is because my teacher felt...sorry for me I guess. She always told me when I had a C, so she forced me to raise it. I know my new teachers wont do that for me. My mom doesnt seem to care that I need help, but she gets mad if I get a C or a B. 4. I want to join clubs and stuff...but wouldnt it be awkward? Im new...Im alone...eh. My friend said joining clubs will help me make friends because I'll meet someone who has the same interests as me. I want to do Art Club, and she says go for it...but I dont know... 5. The same thing as number 4. I want to play basketball. Ive been playing since 6th grade and last year I was the "star player" of the team because I was the most experienced. The thing is...you didnt have to try out since it was a small school. This school...you do, and apparantly they're really good. Im afraid I'll make a fool out of myself or something... 6. ...Is high school as scary as the movies make it? So...theres my list..its long I know. As you can tell...Im not too outgoing, or confident...and I know thats a problem. Im afraid that I wont fit in...and no one is seeming to help me...at all. My friends keep saying its goi

Signed: Nervous About High School

Dear Nervous About High School,

TeenHealthFX can appreciate that you, like many other recent 8^th grade graduates, are feeling nervous about starting high school. A new building, all new teachers, many new students, different schedules and course loads, being the youngest of four grades – there are certainly lots of things that can feel potentially intimidating. So you may feel understandably nervous for your first few days because of all the changes and new things you will encounter (as many incoming freshmen do). But there are things you can do to stop mild to moderate uneasiness from turning into feelings like high school is “hell.”

If your style is to be shy, there are two things for you to think about. The first is to make efforts to approach people and to initiate conversations. This will most likely feel scary and uncomfortable for you in the beginning as it is not your usual style. However, with time and practice you might come to find that it is less scary than it was in the past and that it actually has more benefits in the end for you socially. The second thing to remember is that even if you do decide to wait for people to come to you, not everyone will “give up” on you. In a school with 1,000 students, there are bound to be several people who will see something in you they like and who will be willing to “wait” for you to show your true colors after a couple of days.
It will be an adjustment for you to go from a small school to such a large high school. You may feel like this little fish in a big pond for a while, and it may take you some time to get used to being in a very different kind of school environment. However, FX would like to stress that this is normal considering your situation, and it is nothing to feel worried about if it does take you some time to feel comfortable in your new surroundings. FX would also like to point out that you will only be as “lost” as you let yourself feel. If you find ways to get involved and make your mark, and you create your own niche in the school – there is the potential for you to feel very important and significant in your own way.
Whether it is a subject that has always felt difficult, or a subject that has become more challenging in high school, many high school students find at times that they require some extra help. So keep in mind the following: high school teachers, like any other kind of teachers, are there to help you to learn. Just because you are now in a large high school does not mean those teachers won’t care and will see your difficulties in a subject as your issue to deal with on your own. If you let your math teacher know off the bat that math is a tough subject for you and ask the teacher what kind of extra help is available, FX feels confident that your teacher will be there to help you as long as he/she sees that you are willing to put in the effort. If you speak to your math teacher about it, you may even find that on parent/teacher night he/she will help to convey to your mother the importance of your getting help in the subject. In addition to any help your teacher can offer, many high schools have peer tutoring programs where upper classmen will be assigned to younger students as tutors. If that doesn’t work, there are always private tutors or tutoring centers where you can go to receive extra help – your teacher may even be able to recommend one or advocate for you if your mother is reluctant to send you.
Definitely join some clubs – especially if there are particular ones you already know you will have an interest in. It may feel weird at first showing up for the first meeting and not knowing anybody. But with a club, every student is there with a common interest and goal in mind – so you already have a good jumping off point for meeting new people. So whether it is the art club or any other club, FX thinks you should try to get as involved as possible.
Trying out for sports teams can be difficult, and it can feel very disappointing if you don’t make the team. But if this is something you want to do and you enjoy, don’t let the possibilities of disappointment and embarrassment get in your way. These are emotions many people feel at many different points in their lives – but try not to let them be obstacles to a potentially wonderful experience.
Movies can evoke powerful emotions, and it is easy to see how certain movies could make high school look like a very scary place. However, it is important to remember that movies do not always represent reality and that storylines in movies are often exaggerated for entertainment purposes. Starting high school can be nerve-wracking for many freshmen, but most get through the initial nervousness without too much trouble and eventually discover all of the wonderful things the high school experience has to offer.

If you continue to worry, or find that certain issues come up once you are at high school, FX suggests that you seek out a trusted adult to talk to so that you can get support or guidance with anything you are dealing with. Most high schools do have counselors on staff – so you could always start there. And remember that your high school experience in the end will be what you choose to make of it. So join clubs, meet new people, talk to your teachers when you need help – and put yourself out there in a way that will help high school to be a positive experience for you.

Signed: TeenHealthFX