TeenHealthFX - Answers - A Few Minutes Ago I Was Going To Kill Myself

Suicide / Question
Published: August 13, 2007

Dear TeenHealthFX,

i am depressed and just a few minites ago i was gonna kill myself! i had been planning my death for weeks and was really excited that i wont have anymore pain and i might finally be free so anyways i had written my note and even had a rope around my neck and was ready to die but then i chickened out! i dont know why i thought it would be easy but i guess it isnt. so i wanna know if things will get better or should i stop being such a d*** and get on with my long deserved death?

Signed: A Few Minutes Ago I Was Going To Kill Myself

Dear A Few Minutes Ago I Was Going To Kill Myself,

TeenHealthFX is very concerned that you came so close to killing yourself, however, we certainly are relieved to hear that something inside of you stopped yourself from going through with it. We definitely do not see this decision as "chickening out" on your part - but more as the healthy part of you taking control of the situation to not take any kind of action that will end things for you and devastate the people around you. FX understands that there must be very real reasons for you to feel the way you do right now - but we do not believe that you deserve to die, and we do have a great deal of hope and faith that things can get better for you. There are many choices we can make in terms of what kind of road we want to travel down in life - and you do have the power to decide what kind of path you want to take.

The first thing you need to do here is to seek mental health treatment for yourself immediately. Since you came so close to killing yourself, FX thinks that you should tell a trusted adult about what just happened and then have a parent or guardian go with you to your local hospital emergency room as soon as possible. A mental health professional at the hospital ER can assess what you type of care and treatment you need to ensure your immediate physical safety, as well as your long-term emotional well-being - and they can help to make arrangements for any kind of services you need.

Again, please know that things can get better for you and please seek help right away - there are many people out there who will want to help you in your pursuit of a happier, healthier road. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX