Depression / Question
Published: August 24, 2007
Dear TeenHealthFX,
i have a problem, i have been feeling bad this year about a lot of things. i started cutting myself in the beginning of the year too. my friend knows i cut and she yells at me all the time and i try and explain things to her - she doesn't get that i reallyy don't do it that deep at all and i always wash my cuts after so i really can't get hurt-but she just gets frustrated at me and that makes me feel even worse about myself. i saw a therapist once this year cause my parents were fight a LOT and my brother was having problems so they thought it was a good idea. i don't wanna ask my mom to see her again because i'm afraim i'll hurt my moms feelings, she already says that i don't talk to her about my feelings enough and she wants to have a good relationship with me but shes kind of critical. anyway, the reason i'm writing is because i think i might be depressed(and if i am i have no problem with taking medication for it or whatever needs to be done) but i'm afraid that if i tell my mom or go to a therapist it'll turn out that i'm overreacting and i'm just being dumb. imagine that-hey mom i'm depressed get all upset for a false alarm!- that would be so horrible, i was just wondering if maybe there is a way i could figure out if i'm depressed by myself, or anything like that. also i was wondering, if sombody's depressed and they tell their doctor, can the doctor always diagnose it. . .anyway PLEASE write me back!!! i don't know what to do and i feel really hopeless, thanks so muchh --i think im depressed
Signed: Feeling Bad This Year About A Lot Of Things
Dear Feeling Bad This Year About A Lot Of Things,
TeenHealthFX thinks that it is completely understandable and normal that you would want to meet with a therapist right now from what you are describing. FX understands that you are worried you are overreacting or that you may hurt your mother’s feelings by meeting with a therapist – however, your mental health is very important and it is definitely okay to make them a priority right now.
These are the following reasons why FX thinks it is a good idea for you to meet with a therapist right now:
- You care cutting. Therapists can be very helpful in working with people who display self-harming behaviors in terms of figuring out triggers for those behaviors and developing alternate coping mechanisms.
- You are worried you may be depressed. It is very normal for people to meet with a therapist for a consultation if they are worried they may be dealing with a mental illness, like depression. A therapist will get a lot of information about you and your symptoms, and then can determine whether or not you are dealing with some form of depression. In addition, depression is a mental illness requiring professional attention – it is not something people can diagnose and treat themselves. Just like you would not play doctor and try and diagnose and treat yourself if you were worried you were diabetic, the same applies for mood disorders, like depression.
- It sounds like there may be problems in the communication between you and your mother because you experience her as being critical. A therapist can help you do deal more effectively with your mother’s critical side, as well as to work with you and your mother (if the two of you wish) to work on issues that will strengthen the relationship.
In terms of your mother feeling upset about your speaking to a therapist rather than her, FX has two responses. The first is that seeing a therapist (especially if the two of you went for some sessions together) can actually help to strengthen your relationship in the long-run – not distance it even more. Second, a therapist is not a mother and a mother is not a therapist – they have different roles, different purposes, and different relationships with you – so one is not meant to replace the other. Again, just as you would go to see a medical doctor, not your mother, if you had problems with your physical health – you would go to a mental health provider, not your mother, if you were having problems with your mental health.
It sounds like you are already connected to a good therapist and would feel comfortable returning to him or her. However, if you live in northern
You can also contact the Self-Injury Hotline (information only, not a crisis line) at 1-800-DON’T-CUT, 1-800-366-8288.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Less than 33% of teens with depression get help, yet 80% of teens with depression can be successfully treated if they seek help from a doctor or therapist.
