TeenHealthFX - Answers - Being Raped Since Age 7

Childhood Sexual Abuse / Question
Published: February 6, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

When I was 7 I went into my parents room because I heard something going on. Now I know that they were having sex, but I didn't know that then. They asked me to come in the bed with them so I did. They raped me and then told me to go back to bed. They have been doing it to me every night since. Now I am 14 and know about all of this stuff. I am an only child, and don't have a lot of friends so I tell everything that's going on with me to my parents. I got my period a year ago and got pregnant from one of their rapes. They lied and said I had sex with a classmate and made me get an abortion. They keep trying to rape me and I refuse so they beat me and hold me down for each other. They bruised my arm very badly. I feel very used. I love them because they are my parents and I don't want anything bad to happen to them but I feel that this is uneccesary. What should I do? Please help me.

Signed: Being Raped Since Age 7

Dear Being Raped Since Age 7,

TeenHealthFX recognizes that this must be a very difficult and scary situation for you. Your parent's job is to protect you and guide you until you are old enough to make your own decisions. Sadly your parents have not done this and in fact have exploited you for their own sexual gratification. What they are doing is completely wrong on many levels and is bound to have a negative affect on your life. Your parents have grossly distorted the concept of love and trust and have kept you isolated, so that people would not find out what is happening.

It is extremely important that you realize that you have done nothing wrong. You have been sexually assaulted you for the past 7 years and the only way for it to stop is to speak up and let someone know what has been going on. Find an adult that you trust and share with them the secret you have been carrying all these years. If you do not know whom to turn to, try someone at school such as a teacher counselor or nurse. You could also speak to a relative or a neighbor you have a good relationship with.

TeenHealthFX feels obligated to let you know that once the authorities become aware of your situation your parents mostly likely will be charged with a crime and you will be removed from their custody and placed in a safe environment. While this thought may be upsetting, you must remember you did not cause this to happen. Your parents have a sickness that does not usually go away on its own. Being held accountable for sexually abusing their child and taking responsibility for the damage they have caused is the only way real change can take place. They may be your parent but they have no right to hurt you.

All of this must be very confusing and overwhelming. That is why it is very important that you receive the proper counseling so that you can deal with the many complicated issues that arise from being abused by a family member. There are therapists and support groups that help people recover from sexual trauma so that they can go on and lead a satisfying life. It will be very difficult in the beginning, but with the proper support and treatment, you can make it.

If you would like more information or would like help finding a therapist in your area, you can contact Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAIN) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week. In northern New Jersey you can also call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400 for an appointment.

Signed: TeenHealthFX