TeenHealthFX - Answers - I've Never Felt So Alone

Suicide / Question
Published: December 10, 2007

Dear TeenHealthFX,

For the past year I've seriously been contemplating taking my own life. A year ago a friend of mine committed suicide and things in my life have gone rapidly downhill. I now cut several times every day, have written countless suicide notes and have tried to kill myself once. I see a psychiatrist, but she doesn't have any idea what's going on and neither do my parents. I've told my best friends, but they're the only ones who know. Sometimes I really think they're the only thing stopping me from ending it all. I don't see anything to live for and I'm tired of people telling me I'm just a teenager and that I'll get over it. I feel like no one listens to me. I've never felt so alone.

Signed: I've Never Felt So Alone

Dear I've Never Felt So Alone,

TeenHealthFX is very sorry that you lost your friend a year ago, and we particularly sympathize with the way in which you lost your friend. We can definitely appreciate that your friend’s decision to take his/her own life has had a significant impact on you, however we are quite concerned with the intensity of your emotional response to this loss over the past year. FX does NOT think that seriously contemplating suicide for a prolonged period of time, attempting suicide, and cutting several times a day are normal just parts of adolescence that a person will outgrow. These are serious issues that do require treatment from trained professionals.

FX thinks that it is crucial that you discuss how you have been feeling with your psychiatrist so that treatment can be put into place that will elevate your mood, and help to eliminate the self-cutting and suicidal thoughts. Your psychiatrist may recommend that you take some kind of psychotropic medication (or change your medication if you currently take something). She may also recommend that you participate in individual therapy more frequently, as well as family therapy. FX is mentioning family therapy because we are concerned about your relationship with your parents since you seem reluctant to tell them about how you have been feeling. We think that it is important that they are informed about all of this, and that a therapist work with all of you to help them better understand how to be helpful to you with all that is going on.

FX understands that there are adults out there who will look the other way or want you to just “get over it.” However, there are also plenty of adults out there who will appreciate the severity of what you are going through and who will want to be there for you in a supportive, encouraging and helpful way. The key is not to let the adults who brush things off discourage you from finding the people who really care. If you find that an adult you talk to does not take you seriously, talk to another adult – parents, your psychiatrist, school counselors, or teachers – anyone who will listen, take you seriously, and work with you to get you the help you need.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers.

You can also contact the Self-Injury Hotline (information only, not a crisis line) at 1-800-DON’T-CUT, 1-800-366-8288.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX