TeenHealthFX - Answers - 15 YO Girl Who Worries Too Much

Worries, Fears and Anxiety Disorders / Question
Published: December 28, 2007

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I'm a 15 year old girl that worries too much. My mother says I am too emotional as well. I am having a hard time at home and school. In school, alot of people hate me and tell me I'm ugly. I have practically no self-esteem. Lately I've been crying everyday because I'm depressed. My two best friends are dating and I am jealous of what they have. I like my one best friend but he doesn't like me. He told me he doesn't see me as a girl but as a "buddy". What do I do? I'm even seeing the school counselor every two weeks. I am so tired of feeling this way. It's even affecting my daily life.

Signed: 15 YO Girl Who Worries Too Much

Dear 15 YO Girl Who Worries Too Much,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that things have been feeling so difficult lately, but we are glad that you are reaching out for help in terms of writing into us and meeting with your school counselor every two weeks. Dealing with these kinds of issues can take time, and it can feel draining to go through the process. Since it sounds like you are wondering about other things you can do to help this situation, FX would like to suggest the following:

Speak with your school counselor about the idea of your meeting with a private therapist in addition to your meetings with him or her. It would probably be helpful for you to be able to meet consistently with someone on a more regular basis (at least once a week). In addition, a private therapist could also include your parents in the treatment in terms of helping them to learn how to be supportive and loving towards you in a way that helpful during this difficult time.
Since you have been feeling depressed, FX suggests that you try to maintain a healthy diet (with an emphasis on particularly lowering the amount of sugar and junk food in your diet) and develop a healthy exercise routine for yourself. What we eat and the amount of physical activity we get can have a tremendous impact on our overall mood and the way in which we see ourselves.
When you start to feel jealous of a friend or get down on yourself, train yourself to stop those thought patterns and replace it with a different thought pattern. So if you find that you are comparing yourself to a friend, remind yourself of something in your life you are appreciative of. And if you find you are putting yourself down, remind yourself of a positive quality that you possess.
Try relaxation exercises, deep breathing or imagery work to reduce the amount of anxiety and worry that you are experiencing.
Get involved in some kind of extra-curricular activity that interests you – art classes, music programs, sports teams, or volunteer work. Any activity available through your school or community that can get you engaged in a positive activity and connected with other people in a positive way.

Some of the things FX has suggested may feel scary or overwhelming to you. And it might take some work and practice before they feel like a normal part of the way you operate day to day. But making these types of changes can have a tremendous impact on the way we feel, the way we see ourselves, and the way in which we are connected to other people. So consider doing them – even if just for a trial period, to see if they help you to feel better about who you are and where you are at in your life. And always look to the trusted adults around you for guidance and support as you deal with these issues.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers.

Signed: TeenHealthFX