Helping Friends/Loved Ones Who Are Suicidal Or In Abusive Situations / Question
Published: January 29, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
What do you need to do if your girlfriend is being beaten by her parents and cps said there was nothing they could do because she didn’t have any bruises?
Signed: Girlfriend Is Being Beaten By Her Parents
Dear Girlfriend Is Being Beaten By Her Parents,
If your girlfriend is being physically abused at home and child protective services is involved but is not being helpful to her, there are a couple of things that can be done:
- Your girlfriend can call the department where her CPS caseworker is employed and ask to speak to the caseworker’s supervisor. Your girlfriend should explain to the supervisor the nature of the abuse occurring at home, and what was told to her by her caseworker in terms of what can or can’t be done by CPS. Your girlfriend needs to stress to the supervisor that the situation is dire and that someone needs to intervene in some way.
- It would be helpful for your girlfriend to have an adult who can advocate for her – both with her parents and with CPS. A school counselor, school nurse, primary care physician, or private therapist would all be possibilities in this situation. Your girlfriend needs to reach out to some of the adults around her, let them know what has been happening to her, and ask them for help in dealing with her parents and with the CPS workers.
- If your girlfriend is physically harmed again, immediately afterwards she should go to her local police station or emergency room so a statement of what happened to her can be put on record and so she can get treatment for herself.
- Your girlfriend can call one of the following hotlines at any time: The Youth Crisis Hotline at 1-800-448-4663, 24 hours, 7 days a week – this hotline is for youths, 17 years of age or younger who are in crisis. Or the Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-792-8610, 24 hours, 7days a week – this hotline is for reporting physical or sexual abuse and to get help.
- You can give your girlfriend the following information in terms of finding a therapist who can provide her with support and guidance in dealing with this situation, and who can advocate for her with her parents and with CPS: If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers.
What you can do as the significant other in this situation is to provide support and encouragement for your girlfriend during this very difficult time. Help her continue to reach out to people for help with this problem, and encourage her not to give up. In addition, since it is undoubtedly stressful and painful for you to watch your girlfriend going through all of this at home, FX would also like to stress the importance of you having your own supports and people to turn to for guidance. You can talk to your parents, a school counselor, or a teacher – but be sure that you are speaking to someone about what are dealing with as you continue to try to be helpful to your girlfriend.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Girls are more likely to intentionally abuse prescription drugs than boys.
