TeenHealthFX - Answers - Second Semester At College Not Going Well

Depression / Question
Published: February 15, 2008

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am a freshman in my second semester of college. Last semester I went to a different school and I had been seeing a counselor there for depression and suicidal thoughts. Although it was nice to have someone to talk to, I don't feel like it helped that much. Over the winter break, I went to another counselor at home, and she was even worse. We got absolutely nothing accomplished and it was a complete waste of my time. Both of my previous counselors had told me that they think I would be happier if I could seem more welcoming to people when I first meet them. They told me that since I was going to a new school, I should try to greet everyone like I'm really excited to see them, and never turn down offers to hang out. I got to this school and I did what they said. I was very polite to everyone, offered to eat with them, etc. None of them seemed interested, though. To make matters worse, my roommate decided from the moment she met me that she hated me. I know this for a fact because she has been doing everything in her power to annoy me, and she has even been writing notes and leaving them on her desk about how much she hates me. I have tried numerous times to compromise with her, but she is completely unwilling to compromise. We went to the RA to see if I could move to a new room, and the RA sided with my roommate the whole time! I really hate my life, and I hate it even more with this roommate. I literally never want to set foot in my room when she's there and I dread the times when she comes back in. I can never relax and I seriously wish every day that I could just die. Please give me some advice...I'm desperate!

Signed: Second Semester At College Not Going Well

Dear Second Semester At College Not Going Well,

TeenHealthFX thinks that it is helpful to learn and develop the skills that will enable us to form more satisfying relationships with peers, however, we are concerned that your depression has not been adequately treated and that this might be getting in the way of any efforts you have been making to build friendships. If you have been depressed and experiencing suicidal thoughts, you may benefit from taking an anti-depressant medication. FX suggests that you schedule a consultation with a psychiatrist so that he/she can assess whether medication could help to elevate your mood and eliminate your suicidal thoughts.

FX also recommends that you meet with a trained therapist who specializes in working with people with mood disorders, such as depression. It is important to find out what has contributed to your depressed mood and work through those issues, as well as to develop the skills to manage your depression and any current triggers for it. Since you have not had luck with the two therapist you have seen already, FX recommends that you try and find someone who is personally referred to you – and if you ever find that your treatment isn’t working, FX recommends that you discuss it with your treatment provider immediately so the two of you can come up with an alternate plan that will be more helpful to you.

If they are not already aware, FX also thinks that it very important that you inform your parents of how you have been feeling in terms of your depressed mood, and about the stress that you are experiencing regarding your roommate situation. It is very important right now that you feel you have supports in place for you and people you can turn to for love and guidance.

As far as your roommate situation, FX can appreciate that this situation must be stressful for you and your roommate if you are dealing with depression that has gone untreated and there are difficulties between the two of you which are not being adequately addressed. FX recommends that you speak to your RA, faculty advisor, or a counselor at your school counseling center (provided your college has one) about what can be done immediately about this roommate situation because of the impact it is having on your emotional well-being. It is important that you act as an advocate for yourself, and have your parents advocate for you as well, if needed.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX