Childhood Sexual Abuse / Question
Published: March 12, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 16 year old sophomore in Highschool. When I was younger, my grandfather used to touch me in innapropriet places when I would come over for visits, when we were left alone. I know he tried the same on my sister, and I have not talked to her about it or with my parents or anyone else. Its tough keeping this secret, and everytime I come arround my grandpa its all I can do to keep from crying. Its a painful secret, but I don't want it to tear up my family, and I don't want my parents or anyone else to think I'm lying. He is my step grandfather, and I feel that I was molested and that his trust with me was broken. I am often depressed and I do not know how I should go about this issue. Please help.
Signed: Step-Grandfather Abused Me
Dear Step-Grandfather Abused Me,
TeenHealthFX can understand that you would be feeling depressed lately. Not only are you dealing with the memories of sexual abuse, you are coping with all of this alone and you are fearful that by opening up to others you will either break apart the family or be met with disbelief. However, as scary as it is to open up about this, FX thinks that it is very important that you talk to someone about what you are going through. What happened to you is not your fault and you did absolutely nothing wrong. The person at fault here is your grandfather – and you are the one who needs to be protected and cared for here, not him. So whether it is your sister, your parents, a counselor at school, or a private therapist (preferably one trained in dealing with victims of sexual abuse), strongly consider sharing your experiences with someone.
One of the hardest parts of dealing with abuse is carrying the weight of the secret all on your own, and feeling like there is no one there to believe you and comfort you with what you are going through. So speak to some trusted adults about this and get guidance and support for yourself on how to deal with these difficult issues. FX believes that once you have more support for yourself and start to deal with the feelings you have about having been abused by your grandfather with the help of a mental health professional, you will start to feel less depressed with time.
If you live in northern
You can also contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAIN), 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week for help and information.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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