TeenHealthFX - Answers - Mother Is Mourning The Death of Her Uncle

Death & Dying / Question
Published: March 19, 2008

Dear TeenHealthFX,

My mother is mourning the loss of her uncle. The death was suicide. My mom can't get out of shock. I don't really care for my great-uncle because I didn't know that he existed but my mom is take it horribly. I need to know what I can do about this because I don't want her to end up the same way. My other uncle died back in November from a heart attack so she is in double pain. Please, I need some advice to help my mom pull through this situation.

Signed: Mother Is Mourning The Death of Her Uncle

Dear Mother Is Mourning The Death of Her Uncle,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that your mother is dealing with the loss of two family members, and that this has subsequently made you concerned about her well-being. FX does want you to understand that dealing with grief can be a process and something that can take time – especially in a situation like this where there is an added element of dealing with the difficulty of one of the deaths being related to suicide. It may take your mother some time to let all of this sink in and to deal with her sadness and anger about these losses – but it does not necessarily mean that she will not eventually recover from her state of mourning.

At a time where you feel your mother could handle such a conversation, FX suggests that you let her know how you feel – that you are concerned about how these deaths are affecting her and that you are worried she might do something to hurt herself one day. Make sure that she is aware of your concerns, and even suggest the idea that she be in bereavement counseling right now to deal with her emotions related to these deaths.

FX is also wondering if it would be helpful for you right now to have a solid support system in place if you are feeling that your mother is very preoccupied with her grief. It might be helpful for you to reach out to some trusted adults, such as a teacher, school counselor, extended family member, or private therapist. That way you can get some guidance and support in how to deal with your mother going through this grieving period, as well as your concerns about what may happen to her one day.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers.

Signed: TeenHealthFX